I was recently interviewed by Dave Jackson from the School of Podcasting. What was planned to be a conversation about becoming a person of influence turned into much more. We ended up talking about a range of helpful topics for start-ups and entrepreneurs. Some of the other topics we covered were; goal setting, maintaining motivation and avoiding burnout. It was a great chat and David also has some very helpful tips on podcasting if you’re that way inclined. You can listen to the interview here. Play Interview >>>
Below is Dave’s summary of our conversation. You can check out Dave’s blog here.
Avoiding Burnout
When you lose hope it’s a very dark place to be and want to quit. Business without purpose can lead to you throwing in the towel. We look at where we want to be, and then look at where we are, and instead of feeling gratitude for what you have, you get discouraged. You have to value your current situation so your attitude can stay positive and allow you to make it to the next step. An App that Dave has been using is Gratitude Journal .
Take A Look At Yourself
Look at last year and figure out what worked, and what could be done better. What experiences help you grow more? When we develop small habits they can lead to giant success.
Goals
Be sure to have specific goals, and make sure the goals push you out of your comfort zone. Make sure they are realistic. Instead of focusing on the goal, focus on the actions that will lead to achieving the successful goal.
Instead of focusing on our stats, focus on the actions that will lead to more downloads.
Anything of value takes time and effort. A garden of weeds takes no time or effort. Your successful podcast will require time and effort, but it will be worth it.
Becoming a Person of Influence
Operate with integrity
Help other people, and deliver value.
Listen to people, and be interested in other people.
Let me know what you got out of the podcast. Comment below. Share it with a friend you think needs to hear it.
Why avoiding pain might be holding you back and how learning to push through will set you up for success…
I’m a teacher by profession and, one of the most disturbing trends I have observed among students today is their aversion to attempting or pushing through anything that might appear remotely difficult or challenging. On an almost daily basis I would get call outs (as the Behavior support teacher) to attend children who had run out of the classroom…
Why?
“…because I didn’t want to do the work…” or “it was too hard so I didn’t want to try it…”.
All too often I will ask; “Did you look at it? Did you have a go? Did you ask for help?” and the answer is almost always the same; “No! I just know it’ll be hard so I’m not going to try…”
No, I don’t blame the children, I believe children are a product of the environment they are raised in. Sadly we have school systems and parents that seem totally committed to helping children avoid all pain or discomfort at any cost. Tragically though, children raised in this way frequently turn into adults that are equally unwilling to do the work required to achieve their dreams or be the best they could possibly be.
The simple fact of life is; life is challenging. Period! To achieve anything in life always requires a level of pain, discomfort and adversity while you’re developing the expertise to reach your goal. Just ask any athlete, musician or academic who is at the top of their game how much “work”, “effort” and “determination” had to go into getting them to the top.
If you have dreams and goals to achieve beyond your present place in life then it’s going to take some persistence to push through the pain of learning. It’s not a question of if you will experience adversity, it’s how you face it that will determine your success in the end.
5 tips for overcoming achieving through adversity:
Often the biggest blocker to pushing through the pain of learning is first knowing where you’re heading and taking the first step. Unless you have somewhere to aim then understanding the purpose and point of your challenges will be lost.
What sort of person do you want to become? What do you want to achieve? Hold that in your mind when the challenge of getting there becomes too much.
Often the fear of failure can prevent us from ever taking the first step. Find one task you can do to move you forward towards your goal. Never starting is always worse than having a go and failing.
Don’t try do it all in a day. Just take one step closer, then another, then another…. soon your stride will become more confident if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
3. You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it!
It’s the daily grind, personal discipline, practice and time spent in repetitious training that takes you forward. You don’t have to like it, but to achieve, you have to learn how to stay committed to it. I’m not a morning person but I realized that to move to the next level in my development I had to become one. So every morning when that alarm goes off at 4:45am, I remind myself why I’m doing it and what the reward will be at the other end. I also give myself a small reward for getting out of bed each day; I make myself a cup of chai.
Keep your goal in focus, remind yourself of the reward at the other end of the pain and give your self a small achievable reward for turning up each day. Very quickly it will become habit and you will start doing it with out a thought.
Check out this video: The life of an Entrepreneur in 90 seconds. It illustrates this point well.
Set-backs, losses, and disappointments are a given in any endeavour. They can either become a tombstone and cause you to give up or your can learn, regroup and keep going. Those who learn from their setbacks almost always come through stronger than before. Life is learning and growth is pain.
3 simple questions that can help you process and learn from setbacks are:
What went wrong? Stop doing it
What did I do well? Keep doing it
What could make it better next time? Try something new
Too often people give up on their dreams just before they have a break through. It’s frequently the case that those who succeed weren’t better than the others they started with, they just hung in long after everyone else quit.
Yes, you need to know when to quit sometimes, but it is equally important to know when to keep going. Find where your Passion, Skill, Income and the Needs of Others align. It is there you will find you purpose. Stay in that zone and keep going. If the activity takes you out of that zone, re-adjust. If you’ve just hit a rough spot but you’re still in your sweet spot, don’t quit!
Your Turn:
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Thanks for reading, I look forward to reading your replies.
Need Help? If you’d like help to clarify your direct and map out a plan to reach your goals, book in a FREE coaching session with me. I’d love to help you get on your path to success.
If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.
Years ago a psychologist named Viktor Frankl stood up to Sigmund Freud. Freud was believed; what humans wanted most in life was pleasure. But Frankl believed humans weren’t seeking pleasure as much as they are seeking a deep sense of meaning. In fact, he went on to say “When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.”
“When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.” -Viktor Frankl
Pleasure orients us around our selves, purpose and meaning orients us around others and God. Not everything in life has obvious meaning but everything can be meaningful. It’s all in the way we view our lives, relationships and experiences. Frequently we derive meaning from our pleasure. If we enjoy something, it makes us happy, makes us feel good about ourselves, we can invest our energy in it. It is worth our effort.
Pleasure orients us around our selves, purpose and meaning orients us around others and God.
We have cliches that reflect this sentiment too: Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life… If you’re really in love it won’t feel like hard work… If there is really a God who loves us then why does he let so many bad things happen…
The problem with all of these cliches or questions is all of them find their purpose and value in our own sense of pleasure. In reality however,we don’t always love the jobs we do, sometimes they are mundane and unfulfilling. Good relationships are hard work, they are not like a hollywood movie and yes I’ll say it; bad stuff does happen to good people, and it sux! If our only measure of meaning and value in life is our own pleasure then we will sell ourselves short every time.
If our only measure of meaning and value in life is our own pleasure then we will sell ourselves short every time.
So what happens when we find ourselves in a job that we never dreamed of, we don’t enjoy and it feels meaningless…
What happens when we the warm fuzzies of our relationships wear off and we find ourselves needing to put in effort to make them work.
What happens when the child you have poured your life into throws it back in your face and doesn’t show you the love and respect that perhaps you deserve or desire…
What happens when it seems like God hasn’t heard your prays, life is going pear shaped and you’ve never felt more alone and abandoned…
Lets be honest, life is not all mountain top experiences. Life has valleys, life has hard times, life can just down right suck sometimes.The question we need to ask is not if this is worth our effort but rather, can life still have meaning and purpose even when things don’t feel right, even when it’s not the way we hoped? Can our relationships, home, work, life have meaning even when they don’t feel the way we had hoped?
This is an easier proposition to write about than to practice but here is 3 ways that I have found to help find meaning in these sort of situations. 3 tips to find meaning in the mundane, painful or disappointing moments of our lives:
We needn’t ask; is this worth my effort? rather ask; can it still have meaning when it doesn’t end the way I hoped?
We live in a world where so many measure their happiness by what stuff they have or what pleasures they can fill their life with, yet as the ancient writer Paul writes in Thessalonians,we should give thanks in all circumstances. Not just the fun times, not just when we are getting our own way, but even when life is going badly. Even when things don’t work out the way we hope.
Funny things happens when you express gratitude in the face of disappointment, you gain perspective of your situation. When you become grateful for what you have, political budget cuts don’t look so worrying against the back drop of thousands of women and children fleeing war by walking across deserts for for 3 weeks to find safety. Changes to health care are not as concerning when I remember that tonight 20,000 children will die of preventable disease in non developed countries. As the poem Desiserata says “…for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” There is always those who will have more and have less than us. When we foster a sense of gratitude about everything we have in our lives rather than what we don’t have, our circumstances no longer rule our happiness. We cease to be governed by our pleasures but are governed by a sense that despite what we don’t have we are blessed.
“…for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” – Desiserata
When we work or have to make choices that seem difficult, ask yourself who you’re working for. Who you are making choices for?
The ancient wisdom of Phil 2:3-8 says Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others…
When we find ourselves in places that we feel are not what we hoped for or have to make decisions that don’t mesh with our personal sense of pleasure says, seeing our perspective in light of others rather than ourselves, can bring meaning where our feelings may steer us wrong. Not everything decision in life should be about our own personal happiness. Sometimes we need to consider how our choices will impact the people in our lives. Sometimes staying for the sake of others well being can be better than going for the sake of our own feelings. In those moments of selflessness we can find true meaning and purpose for our own selves.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
Regardless of where you land on the whole question of weather God exists, I have found that a commitment to something/someone bigger than myself has a way of shifting how I perceive the meaningfulness of the everyday. I personally have a strong conviction and trust in the God of the Christan and Jewish scriptures. Who that is for you is your job to figure out but I do believe that while work, in and of itself, doesn’t always have meaning or purpose, when it is viewed in the context of a purpose bigger than ourselves, the seemingly meaningless can flourish.
Commitment to something/someone bigger than self has a way of shifting how we perceive meaning in the everyday.
As we let go of the reigns of control that are driven by our own desires and allow ourselves to view life as an opportunity to be God’s love or provision for others, the mundane becomes loaded with meaning. The painful becomes purposeful.
As we let go of our desires for self the mundane becomes loaded with meaning. The painful becomes purposeful.
If there was any doubt this week (it got warm again!), last week’s cold snap well and truly confirmed that winter has arrived in the Southern Hemisphere, and to top it all off our heater packed it in on the coldest week of the year. I suppose it shouldn’t come as any surprise, winter comes every year at the same time. While it never really gets seriously cold here in Brisbane, getting out of bed on a cold morning is not any easier.
I find life’s often like this. There are seasons that feel like winter. Productivity slows down, we might not be able to do what we wish we could and getting out of bed each day is plain tough.
Like the seasons, we don’t always get a say in the places we find our lives in, but there are some thing’s we can do to make it more enjoyable.
It’s never a question of if winters will come, it’s how you handle the winter that counts.Share on Twitter
4 tips for navigating the winters of our life.
Before I get into them I want to acknowledge that these four tips are not my own thoughts but have been adapted from a business management book called Fish,by Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul and John Christensen. It’s a really easy read and I highly recommend it.
1. Choose your mood.
We can’t always choose our situations but we can choose the mood we take into each day. Approaching the day with an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness alters the way in which we handle the challenges we face.
Psalm 103:1-2 says Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not his benefits. The writer is commanding himself to be thankful and focus on the good. Take the time each morning to examine your life and learn to acknowledge the things you can be thankful for, then make the choice to approach the day with a positive outlook.
We can’t always choose our situations but we can choose the mood we take into each day.Share on Twitter
2. Have Fun
It’s easy in winter seasons to get focused on the challenges, and miss the moments for enjoyment, fun. If you’ve ever watch children around snow in winter, you’ll know that they don’t look at the drudgery of cleaning the paths, or heating the house or how hard it is to get around. All they want to do is play in it and have fun. Sure there are responsibilities and you can’t muck around all the time, but if you can find ways to add some enjoyment or humour to your mundane tasks, the tasks start to feel less mundane. Ecclesiastes 5:18 says – find joy in all you do! Not everything is fun or enjoyable, but fun and joy can be found if we seek it.
Not everything is fun or enjoyable, but fun and joy can be found if we seek it.Share on Twitter
3. Make someone else’s day!
Prov 11:25 Those who bless others will be blessed, refresh and you will be refreshed!
I was on a ferry boat with my family once and I was asking myself how the ferry boat captain handled the mundane routine of his job. Same route back and forth, everyday. Almost as if he read my mind, he stopped the boat mid river and called my 5 year old son up the front to steer. All the passengers gasped in excitement as they watched this 5 year old boy have the experience of his life. They shared my son’s excitement, it put everyone in a great mood because the ferry boat captain made a little boys day. And I bet it broke up the mundane of his day too.
Find a way to give someone else a boost in their day, you’ll be amazed how much it can affect your day also.Share on Twitter
4. Involve others in your experience
The old saying; a problem shared is a problem halved, couldn’t be truer in challenging times but the opposite can also be true. Sharing your progress and experiences with others can also bring greater enjoyment and satisfaction. Human beings always do better with others than in isolation. It is prudent though to be wise about who you invite into your challenges. Choose friends, mentors, guides or coaches who will actually give wise counsel and even challenge you occasionally to keep perspective. Friends who just tell you what you want to hear are nice but are never really much help when you’re facing a challenge, they’ll usually tell you to stay in bed rather than get up.
Friends who just tell you what you want to hear are never really much help when you’re facing a challenge Share on Twitter
Proverbs 19:20-21 – Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand!
Winters aren’t always easy but they don’t have to be miserable. Go out and try these tips and let me know how you go. Lead well no matter where you find yourself.
If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.
