In this episode, we are talking about navigating the winters of your life. It has been winter in the southern hemisphere right now and it’s been cold. So I just want to talk about what it is like when you are going through “winter” experiences in your life. When things do not feel as easy as they normally are or perhaps they feel challenging, how do you navigate those situations well and lead well and grow through those experiences?
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So we are going to look at how to navigate the winters of your life, four steps to working through challenging situations and difficult seasons in your life. Winter is a time when things slow down and it is harder to get out of bed. Maybe you are somebody that loves winter, I am personally not somebody that loves winter.
I live in a sub-tropical climate and I much prefer the summer or the spring but in winter it is hard to get out of bed, it is hard to get motivated and get things done, especially if it is dreary or it is raining, I have found that sometimes our lives can be a little bit like that. There are seasons in our lives when things do not seem to flow as well, they do not seem to feel as easy. There is a lack of energy or motivation. Perhaps there are obstacles in your life that you are finding challenging and you are trying to overcome.
I have found that in those times there are some really easy steps that you can take to navigate those situations well, so that they do not overwhelm you and set you back but also that you can grow through them and you can come out the other side having learned and flourished despite the experiences that you might have. I do not know what winter looks like for you in the metaphorical sense, I do not know what you are going through. If you are facing an obstacle right now, maybe a family crisis or stress that you have from work, maybe it is a challenge you have got with your team or your organization that you are trying to lead. Whatever it might look like, the first thing we need to understand is that winters happen.
Winters Happen
Winters come every year, they are a part of the cycle, they have their purpose, Winters are times of rest, times of introspection, reflection and preparing for a new season of growth. If you think about it, in nature winter is the time when the ground rests before spring and summer when new growth takes place. Winter is the time when animals hibernate and they restore their energy before emerging again and doing what they do. I guess metaphorically for us, we have those seasons when things are not working the way that we want them to work, maybe they are not growing the way that we want them to grow.
Maybe you are feeling a little bit stagnant, like in winter, being closed in. Do not see it as a bad thing. Accept that those times are necessary and they are a reality. Those are the times that you can actually prepare for really exponential growth in your leadership and in your life. They are also the times when you can rest. We live in a 24-hour society where it is very hard to shut down and we need to use those times to actually really regroup, to regenerate and to take stock of what is important and make sure that we are pouring our energy into the right priorities so that we’re not just go go go without any evaluation of what’s going on.
So first things first, let’s accept that winters happen, seasons happen, difficult times happen and you are not going to escape them. Trying to escape them or trying to avoid them or minimize them is just not reality but what you can do is, walk through them really effectively.
I want to give you four tips that I actually got from the book “Fish.” If you have never read it, I recommend you go and check it out. It is a really short book. I’ll leave the link in the description for you.
Here are four keys that I find so helpful when I am going through seasons where I am doubting myself or I am feeling like it is a struggle.
1. Choose Your Mood
The first one is this, choose your mood ! You get to choose the attitude that you bring into every day. Your thoughts control your emotions, your emotions have a direct impact on your choices and the actions that you take in your life and those actions will create your reality. That in turn, will create the experiences that you have. You have to learn to choose your mood every day. I used to be a really moody, grumpy person when I woke up in the morning. I used to say, “I am not a morning person at all. To a point I am still not a morning person but what I learned is that when I wake up grumpy and get up on the wrong side of the bed, I am not only affecting me, I am affecting all the people around me.
What this does is, it sets off a chain reaction of moody people or disgruntled people. You might take your mood to work, you might take your stress or your frustration out on your colleagues or somebody that works for you. What that does is, it just fosters an attitude of resentment, discouragement and frustration among them. So, if you want to start changing your experiences during those times, then recognise that the change starts with you. It starts with the mood that you bring into the day. You get to choose the attitude and the mood you bring into the day.
So now I choose to get up in the morning and be in a good mood. I am not always perfect of course but I make every effort not to bring a bad mood into my home and my family or into my workplace. I always start the day in my workplace by greeting people, by talking to people and trying to inject some life and some energy into the day for other people because I know that the mood will have a knock-on effect for everyone and everything else. So learn to choose your mood. Your experiences do not have to dictate your mood. You might be having a bad time but you can choose to be in a positive mood.
Here’s a little anecdote from many years ago when I was in my 20s. I used to work in a nursing home and one of my jobs was to take the elderly residents out on their morning walk and drive the bus, every morning I would have somebody coming to the bus complaining about the weather. I would ask, ” How are you today?” and they would say, “Oh it’s cold” or “Oh it’s raining today” and they would always be complaining about the weather. I found that the weather never changed, there were always rainy days, there were always sunny days but they always had something to complain about, except for one man named John. John was the oldest man in our group, he was 98 years old and whenever he came to the bus I would say, “Good morning John, how are you?” His reply was the same no matter whether it was raining or sunny. His reply was always, “I am fantastic, what a great day it is.” He chose his mood every day and he enjoyed it. It probably had a great deal to do with how long he lived, well into his 90s and so there is just a little example of how you can be somebody who just observes what is going on around you and comments on it negatively or you can choose to see the good in your experience and in your day. Choose your mood positively.
2. Learn to Have Fun
The second thing that you can do is this, just have fun. Learn to “goof off”, learn to tell jokes, learn to just not take yourself so seriously. I have had to learn how to do this, I used to think I was a little bit too cool for school. I did not feel comfortable mucking around and goofing off but what I found is, that when I can muck around with my kids I tell dad jokes and laugh with the people I work with and make little humorous comments, not to denigrate anybody but just to be humorous or laugh with others, it brightens the atmosphere for everyone.
Have a laugh at your own expense. If you make a mistake do not get serious about it, just laugh at yourself, tell a joke about yourself. If you learn to have fun you will find that the people around you have fun. They enjoy what is going on and they will start to adopt that attitude into their experience.
3. Make Somebody Else’s Day
The third thing is this, make somebody else’s day. Make a decision that every day you will find a way to make somebody else’s day, lift someone’s spirits, encourage somebody, give a gift to somebody, just do something that will lift someone’s spirits. I remember when my youngest son was about four years old and we were on a ferry boat. We were crossing a river and halfway across the river the ferryboat captain stopped, he turned around and he looked at my son. He said “You, come over here and drive the ferryboat.” He called him up to the wheelhouse and he stood up there supposedly driving this ferry boat across the river. This was every little boy’s dream, to drive a boat.
His grin was from ear to ear but do you know what happened because of that small act of kindness that the ferry boat captain showed my son? It affected the whole boat. Everybody stopped what they were doing. They started taking photos of this little boy that was driving the boat. They were all laughing, pointing and smiling about what a cute thing it was. The ferry boat captain was having the time of his life because he was making someone’s day. He was enjoying himself! This could have been such a boring job, ferrying people back and forth across the river, yet he chose to make somebody’s day and find a way to make it more interesting and enjoyable for everybody around.
4. Invite People into your Experience
The last thing is this, invite people into your experience. If you are struggling, if you are finding things difficult, if you are facing obstacles, talk to somebody about it. Invite people to have a say or to help you out. You might know the old adage “A problem shared, is a problem halved.” It is very true, when you share what is going on in your life, not to be negative, but just to say hey I might need some help here, what you will find is the stress or the burden of it becomes lighter and it will actually help you to navigate those seasons far more effectively.
Winter does not have to be a time where you just go to ground, where you hide, where you get discouraged, where it feels overwhelming, Winter can be a time where you grow, make a difference and you can come outside ready for anything.
So these are just four simple things,
1. Choose your mood.
2. Learn to have fun.
3. Make somebody else’s day.
4. Invite people into your experience.
I really believe that it will help you to lead better, it will help you to feel better in yourself and it will help you to grow more effectively in whatever you are doing. I hope that was really helpful for you. Don’t forget, if you want to learn more about leadership check out our course “Leading for Success” the link will be in the description below.
our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.
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