Years ago a psychologist named Viktor Frankl stood up to Sigmund Freud. Freud was believed; what humans wanted most in life was pleasure. But Frankl believed humans weren’t seeking pleasure as much as they are seeking a deep sense of meaning. In fact, he went on to say “When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.”
“When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.” -Viktor Frankl
Pleasure orients us around our selves, purpose and meaning orients us around others and God. Not everything in life has obvious meaning but everything can be meaningful. It’s all in the way we view our lives, relationships and experiences. Frequently we derive meaning from our pleasure. If we enjoy something, it makes us happy, makes us feel good about ourselves, we can invest our energy in it. It is worth our effort.
Pleasure orients us around our selves, purpose and meaning orients us around others and God.
Not everything in life has obvious meaning but everything can be meaningful.
We have cliches that reflect this sentiment too: Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life… If you’re really in love it won’t feel like hard work… If there is really a God who loves us then why does he let so many bad things happen…
The problem with all of these cliches or questions is all of them find their purpose and value in our own sense of pleasure. In reality however,we don’t always love the jobs we do, sometimes they are mundane and unfulfilling. Good relationships are hard work, they are not like a hollywood movie and yes I’ll say it; bad stuff does happen to good people, and it sux! If our only measure of meaning and value in life is our own pleasure then we will sell ourselves short every time.
If our only measure of meaning and value in life is our own pleasure then we will sell ourselves short every time.
So what happens when we find ourselves in a job that we never dreamed of, we don’t enjoy and it feels meaningless…
What happens when we the warm fuzzies of our relationships wear off and we find ourselves needing to put in effort to make them work.
What happens when the child you have poured your life into throws it back in your face and doesn’t show you the love and respect that perhaps you deserve or desire…
What happens when it seems like God hasn’t heard your prays, life is going pear shaped and you’ve never felt more alone and abandoned…
Lets be honest, life is not all mountain top experiences. Life has valleys, life has hard times, life can just down right suck sometimes.The question we need to ask is not if this is worth our effort but rather, can life still have meaning and purpose even when things don’t feel right, even when it’s not the way we hoped? Can our relationships, home, work, life have meaning even when they don’t feel the way we had hoped?
This is an easier proposition to write about than to practice but here is 3 ways that I have found to help find meaning in these sort of situations. 3 tips to find meaning in the mundane, painful or disappointing moments of our lives:
We needn’t ask; is this worth my effort? rather ask; can it still have meaning when it doesn’t end the way I hoped?
1. Foster a sense of gratitude
1 Thessalonians – 5: 18 …give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you…
We live in a world where so many measure their happiness by what stuff they have or what pleasures they can fill their life with, yet as the ancient writer Paul writes in Thessalonians,we should give thanks in all circumstances. Not just the fun times, not just when we are getting our own way, but even when life is going badly. Even when things don’t work out the way we hope.
Funny things happens when you express gratitude in the face of disappointment, you gain perspective of your situation. When you become grateful for what you have, political budget cuts don’t look so worrying against the back drop of thousands of women and children fleeing war by walking across deserts for for 3 weeks to find safety. Changes to health care are not as concerning when I remember that tonight 20,000 children will die of preventable disease in non developed countries. As the poem Desiserata says “…for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” There is always those who will have more and have less than us. When we foster a sense of gratitude about everything we have in our lives rather than what we don’t have, our circumstances no longer rule our happiness. We cease to be governed by our pleasures but are governed by a sense that despite what we don’t have we are blessed.
“…for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” – Desiserata
2. Work, live, choose for the benefit of others
When we work or have to make choices that seem difficult, ask yourself who you’re working for. Who you are making choices for?
The ancient wisdom of Phil 2:3-8 says Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others…
When we find ourselves in places that we feel are not what we hoped for or have to make decisions that don’t mesh with our personal sense of pleasure says, seeing our perspective in light of others rather than ourselves, can bring meaning where our feelings may steer us wrong. Not everything decision in life should be about our own personal happiness. Sometimes we need to consider how our choices will impact the people in our lives. Sometimes staying for the sake of others well being can be better than going for the sake of our own feelings. In those moments of selflessness we can find true meaning and purpose for our own selves.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
Phil 2:3-8
3. Do everything as unto God
Regardless of where you land on the whole question of weather God exists, I have found that a commitment to something/someone bigger than myself has a way of shifting how I perceive the meaningfulness of the everyday. I personally have a strong conviction and trust in the God of the Christan and Jewish scriptures. Who that is for you is your job to figure out but I do believe that while work, in and of itself, doesn’t always have meaning or purpose, when it is viewed in the context of a purpose bigger than ourselves, the seemingly meaningless can flourish.
Commitment to something/someone bigger than self has a way of shifting how we perceive meaning in the everyday.
As we let go of the reigns of control that are driven by our own desires and allow ourselves to view life as an opportunity to be God’s love or provision for others, the mundane becomes loaded with meaning. The painful becomes purposeful.
As we let go of our desires for self the mundane becomes loaded with meaning. The painful becomes purposeful.
What do you think? What are some of the things you do to help you find meaning in the mundane?
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