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How to Increase Your Leadership Influence

3 ways to increase your influence and lift the lid of your leadership ability.

Congratulations! So, you finally got that promotion you’ve been chasing. Now you’ve got the official title, better office and a paycheck to go with it, others will definitely start respecting and listening to you now… won’t they?

Nope. Probably not… All too often when I work with aspiring leaders or leaders who struggle to lead with any kind of influence, the most common comment I hear is; “once I get the title, I’ll be able to  lead more effectively. Nobody listens to me now because I’m not in-charge. If I was in-charge things would be different.”

The sad truth is however, if you can’t lead and influence the people you work with without a title, the chance of you being able to do it with a title is slim.

“If you can’t lead people without a title, you won’t be able to do it with a title.”

Oh you might be able to make people do what you want, direct them, manage them, even bully them with a title, but to lead and influence effectively will take more than just a title.

Leadership is more than marshalling a group of people to do what you need them to do. Most employees will obey you because you pay them. Not because they respect you and actually want to follow you where you’re going. True leadership begins with others choosing (not being coerced) to follow you willingly.

“Leadership is more than marshalling a group of people to do what you need them to do”

It is to have a group of people who know, like and trust you and allow you to show them the way forward. It is to be able to cast a vision, set a course and gather the resources and people around you to see that shared vision achieved.

While a title might get you started on the way, it will not sustain you through the challenges of forging growth and change or help you get to your destination with a team that still believe in what you’re doing. Only loyal, believe in you, go over and above for you, followers will get you there. And that kind of loyalty can’t be forced, it must be willingly given.

“While a title might get you started, it will not sustain your leadership”

Leadership expert John Maxwell puts it simply with these two statements:”Everything rises and falls on Leadership [and] Leadership is Influence. Nothing more nothing less.”

In other words your ability to get to where you want to go is going to be dependant on your ability to influence (lead ) those around you. Conversely your failure to get to where you wanted to go thus far is a result of your ability to effectively influence those around you.

“Everything rises and falls on Leadership”

Ok, so now that we’ve got the cold hard truth out of the way, is there any hope for you? Isn’t leadership something you’re born with? What if you’re not a natural leader? Don’t worry. Yes there are some people who have a natural disposition to leadership but effective leadership can be learned and is not primarily dependant on your natural skill set or ability. Providing you’re willing to learn and put in the work, even you can become a more effective leader. And the great news is; you don’t have to wait until you’ve got “that” title to start… You can increase your influence starting today.

“Effective leadership can be learned and is not primarily dependant on your natural skill”

Here’s 3 tips to get you on the way to becoming a more effective leader and growing in your influence with others.

1.Leadership starts with you not your followers. 

To start on the path to effectively leadership you must recognise that everything rises and falls on your ability to lead not on your followers or teams ability to follow. Lead effectively and people will follow you. Period.

Everybody wants to follow somebody. It’s human nature. Are you the kind of leader that they feel confident following?

To start developing your influence you must start by developing yourself. You will only be able to effectively lead to the level of your own personal growth. Invest your time, energy and finances into growing and developing yourself in every area you can to be an effective leader. As you grow, others will recognise your growth and immediately be drawn to you. You won’t have to convince them, they will see it in you.

“As you grow, others will recognise your growth and immediately be drawn to you”

Become a continuous learner, read constantly, listen to podcasts, take courses, join mentorship groups, get a coach, surround yourself with strong leaders and your influence will grow.

2. Leadership take time to develop

Becoming an effective leader takes time. Lots of time. Taking one course on leadership will not make you a better leader overnight, it will start you on a path that will need to be continually honed, practiced and extended. Learn to see your leadership growth as a continual journey rather than a destination.

Learn to see your leadership growth as a continual journey rather than a destination Share on X

It’s easy to look at world class leaders like John Maxwell, Jack Welch or Jim Rohn and feel discouraged about where you’re at in your level of influence. It’s important to remind yourself that they also started where you are now. John Maxwell’s leadership journey has spanned 50 years. He was not the leader he is now in his 20s. Nor will you be the same leader you are now when you are 50 years along in your journey… Providing you stay the course and continue to learn and grow.

3. Leadership is about people not numbers or titles. 

Finally, remember that effective leadership begins and ends with people. It’s not about the numbers you can pull, the money you can make or even the accolades that may come with it. Nobody achieves their dreams without others who are willing to invest in it. To get to where you are going and leave a legacy worth remembering, you will need people to help take you there.

“effective leadership begins and ends with people” 

Put people first in your leadership journey and you will build a legacy that lives on well beyond your own time. Put profits and results above the wellbeing of people and as quickly as they help you reach your goals, they will bring you back to earth.

Nobody ever quits a company, or project. They quit crappy leaders. If you want others to trust you, follow you and help you get to where you’re going, start by showing them that you care about where they are at and help them get to where they are going.

“Nobody ever quits a company, or project. They quit crappy leaders.”

Do that and people will want to help you get to where you’re going.

Your turn, Start by changing your attitude and talk about where you are at. If you don’t like where you are in your career or personal life, stop blaming the people around you or trying to find a way to escape where you are and start developing your leadership right now.

Start by looking at yourself and putting a plan together to grow your leadership. Settle in for the journey and enjoy the time it will take to learn how to be an effective leader. And finally start investing in others.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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How Pain Can be a Great Teacher

Overcoming adversity

I am a teacher by profession and one common quip I hear is: ” those who can’t do, teach…” Now the implication is that people who can’t be a success in their own right often end up in a position teaching others how to do what they couldn’t.  This may have some truth to it but what I have found when it comes to pain and adversity is, most of us are better teachers than students.

It’s real easy to give advice to a friend when they are experiencing pain that we are not. It’s a whole lot harder to take our own advice or even the advice of others we we are the ones in the middle of the painful experience.

The reason (I believe) is; when the pain is not yours it’s much easier to take a higher perspective. See the big picture, by distancing ourselves from the pain of the circumstance and taking the long view.

It's real easy to give advice to a friend when they are experiencing pain that we are not Share on X

But as John Maxwell says; “when you’re losing, everything hurts…” All you can see is your pain and the circumstance you’re in. Taking the long view doesn’t even seem like an option and anyone that suggests it makes you feel like punching them in the face ( ok maybe that’s just me…?).

when you're losing, everything hurts... @JohnCMaxwell Share on X

What I am finding though, when we are able to elevate our perspective of the situation, adversity can actually become a great teacher. Instead of the stone around our neck, dragging us down, adversity can become the springboard that propels us on to opportunities and experiences that we could not have done or imagined prior to the painful experience.

when we are able to elevate our perspective of a situation, adversity can actually become a great teacher Share on X

It’s all in the way you look at the problem.

In his book “Sometimes you Win, Sometimes you Learn”, John Maxwell offers 6 ways that we can learn from our pain rather than letting it drag us down. I would like to share some of my responses to John’s points, I hope they will help you as they have done me.

1. Adversity Introduces Us to Ourselves If We Want to Know Ourselves

The way we react in adversity, reveals a lot about our true character. How we treat others, the choices we make, the thoughts we entertain when we are under fire, show us the limits of our own character. When we are honest enough to focus on our response to a situation rather than searching for who is to blame, we can learn much about the things that really make us tick. If we’re brave enough to acknowledge it and respond to our weaknesses the growth we experience through the challenge will far out weight the pain.

The way we react in adversity, reveals much about our true character Share on X


2. Adversity Is a Better Teacher Than Success If We Want to Learn from Adversity

The expression “No Pain, No Gain” is true of everything in life. If you want to grow in your capacity as a human being and in your ability to deal with challenging circumstances, pain is a given. It doesn’t mean it’s fun or even right, but if we ask ourselves how we can learn from our pain rather than trying to escape it, we truly do gain far more on the other side. Anyone who has achieved great success has done so  by learning through their challenges, adversity and pain. No exception.

If avoiding pain is what you prefer, then don’t expect to grow. Just like a bodybuilder experiences pain before their muscles grow, pain is the teacher that will bring us the most growth we desire.

If you want to grow the requirement to deal with challenging circumstances & pain is a given. Share on X

3. Adversity Opens Doors for New Opportunities If We Want to Learn from It

When we’re in the pit, the path forward is not always easy to see. When we develop the long view in pain, we can often discover new opportunities that we may have never entertained before the adversity.

My entering the teaching profession came from a situation where I lost what I thought was my dream job.

When we're in the pit, the path forward is not always easy to see Share on X

At the time I could not have imagined the skills I have developed and the opportunities I have had since becoming a teacher, but in regrouping and looking for a new opportunity to move forward I was able to find myself in a place that has seen more growth and reward for my life than my “dream job” ever could have.

4. Adversity Can Signal a Coming Positive Transition If We Respond Correctly to It

Sometimes positive transitions and opportunities can appear like adversity because of our expectations. If we expected a particular outcome and it didn’t work out the way we hoped, the immediate reaction can often be one of disappointment.

If we can adjust our expectation and response to realise that a disappointing outcome does not necessarily spell the end, but might just be a door that transitions us into something thing new, the disappointment can become a positive. It’s all in the way you look at it.

opportunities can sometimes appear like adversity because of our expectations Share on X

5. Adversity Brings Profit as Well as Pain If We Expect It and Plan for It

The question of whether pain will come or even why it comes really is not the point, it is more about whether we anticipate it and plan our response before hand. Anything we endeavour to achieve will at some point cause us some pain. If we anticipate it and plan to respond with a mindset of commitment, openness and positivity, we will learn and ultimately grow from it rather than letting it destroy us.

Anything we endeavour to achieve will at some point cause us some pain. Share on X

6. Adversity Writes Our Story. If Our Response Is Right, the Story Will Be Good

There are very few high, high moments in an individuals life. We usually mark those moments (wedding, birth of a child, graduation etc…) with celebration because they are far and few between. The true story or our life is frequently shaped not by the highs but how we navigate the lows or the dozens of ordinary days that we face. Those are the times that really shape up.

How we navigate the mundane, the setbacks, the pain, will determine what kind of story we write. A tragedy or a triumph. The experiences we have are not always within our control, but our responses are. Choose well and write a great story.

How we navigate our setbacks will determine the story we write. A tragedy or a triumph. Share on X

So what’s your story?

Comment below and tell us about a time when you overcame a set-back and achieved more than you expected?

If avoiding pain is what you prefer, then don't expect to grow Share on X

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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How is Your Relationship With Yourself

is your self esteem holding you back?

4 questions to help you determine if your self esteem is putting a lid on your personal and professional growth?

Most people realise your ability to relate to others positively and productively will directly impact your ability to grow personally and professionally. But, there is one relationship that many never give attention to, and it is the #1 relationship that can become the barrier to your personal and leadership success…

It is: your relationship with yourself…

John Maxwell puts it this way: The only continual relationship in your life is your relationship with yourself…

The only continual relationship in ur life is ur relationship with urself @JohnCMaxwell Share on X

How you view yourself (your self-esteem) will inform the way others view and treat you. Whether you value yourself or not will affect the level to which others value you. If you don’t believe that you deserve success and growth in your chosen field, then there is no reason to expect anyone else will.

How you view yourself will inform the way others view and treat you. Share on X

See, it works like this… Your self esteem will inform the thoughts you have about yourself, about your circumstances, about your setback and about the way other people treat you. Those thoughts will over time (if they haven’t already) become beliefs.

Your beliefs will in turn inform your attitude, your resilience and become the filter by which you experience life.

These beliefs will in turn affect your actions. The way you react to situations, the way you talk to others, the decisions you make and your willingness to take chances for your next steps in growth.

Do you see how that works? The way you love and accept yourself will influence how you think. The way you think will influence what you believe. What you believe will determine the kinds of actions you take. Your actions will determine your growth.

Your thoughts become beliefs, beliefs become actions, actions become outcomes. Share on X

So how do you know if you need to work on your relationship with yourself? Well the easy answer is; we all do. Everyone of us battles with self doubt, negative self talk and unresolved pain from the past. But to give you something practical, try asking yourself these question…

1. How’s Your Self Talk?

How do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake or fail? Are you able to talk yourself through disappointment or do you start beating yourself up and calling yourself an idiot?

Take action: Start catching yourself out when you run yourself down. Develop a habit of changing your self talk and begin working on new ways of talking to yourself when you make a mistake or fail. Encourage yourself and be kind to yourself when you screw up. We all do… An easy rule of thumb is; if you wouldn’t talk to someone you love like that, then don’t talk to yourself like that…

Encourage yourself and be kind to yourself when you screw up. We all mess up... Share on X

2. Where Does it Hurt?

Matt Keller  suggests that your leadership will be capped at the level of your willingness to deal with past pain and hurt… If your self-esteem and the way you think about yourself is linked to past unresolved hurt, disappointment or loss; start by addressing that.

your leadership will be capped at the lvl of your willingness to deal with past hurts @matthewkeller Share on X

Take action: I don’t know where you’re at or how deep those issues go, maybe you need professional help to address the hurt or perhaps you just need to get something off your chest. Just remember; burying or ignoring matters of the heart will not resolve the pain and it’s effect. It will only postpone it to a time when you have no choice but to deal with it.

3. How is your relationship with others?

If you find yourself in regular conflict with others or feel like the world is against you, it can frequently be an indicator that you are actually unhappy with yourself and are just projecting your self loathing onto the interactions you have with others.

Nit picking or fault finding with others can sometimes be an indication of something you are disappointed with in your own life. Rather than focusing on changing it within, we can often fall into the trap of trying to fix it in others and in the process ignore the disappointment we have with ourselves.

Take action: Next time you feel under fire from or agitated and frustrated with someone else, before reacting take a pause. Ask yourself if what they are doing is really the cause of your frustration and hurt or if there’s something else within that you are ignoring. Take the time to assess your own actions, thoughts and intentions. Be honest with yourself and ask if there is anything you can adjust to fix the situation. Conflict is rarely one sided and we always get fast and better results when we turn our attention to fixing our own attitudes and actions before trying to correct others.

Conflict is rarely one sided...resolution comes faster when we turn our attention to ourselves. Share on X

Do I deserve it? 

When you think about the success or goal that you’re trying to achieve, ask yourself this? Do I deserve it? Frequently we can be driven by a desire to achieve big, but underneath it we’re terrified of the thought that we might actually make it… then what?

If you don’t truly believe you deserve the success and the outcomes you are trying to achieve, don’t expect anyone else to help you get there. Sooner or later you will sabotage your own desires to achieve, because deep down you’re scared of what the accomplishment might do to you.

If you don't truly believe you deserve success, don't expect anyone else to... Share on X

Take Action: Make peace with your fears and back yourself. Start telling yourself that you do deserve it. When you start believing in yourself, others will naturally gravitate towards you and start believing in you. If you keep telling yourself that you are not worthy or you don’t deserve it, others will pick up on the energy that you live with. You won’t have to tell them, they might not even realise that they have sensed your self doubt, but they will, and your perception of yourself  will become their perception of you.

What to do? 

I’ve already made some suggestions in the previous paragraphs as to how you can start changing your relationship with yourself for the better, but for the sake of you who just scroll to the bottom for the bullet points here are a few more:

  • Measure your wins not your losses. “What gets measured gets done…” John Schnatter
  • Learn to talk yourself up (encourage yourself) don’t run yourself down. publicly or in your head.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others, run your own race.
  • Learn to live with gratitude not complaining
  • Back yourself for the win.

Your turn:

How’s your relationship with yourself? Has this blog been helpful? Share your ahha moment in the comments.

How's your relationship with yourself? #1 barrier to growth Share on X

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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3 Reasons Why You Need to Discover Your Purpose

IS YOUR LACK OF PUROSE HURTING YOUR POTENTIAL? 3 Reasons why you need to discover and know your purpose.

3 reasons why you need to discover your purpose and what could happen if you don’t.

In 2002, Christian Pastor Rick Warren wrote a book called the Purpose Driven Life. The book immediately went to the bestsellers list, topping the Wall Street Journal and New York Times lists for 90 weeks. It eventually went on to sell over 30 million copies, a feat seldom seen for any motivational type books, let alone a Christian book.

Regardless of your beliefs about faith, there is something about the title of this book that so consumes us as humans and perhaps explains it’s phenomenal success…. purpose.

Everybody at some point asks themselves what the purpose of their life is, yet I meet so many people who simply do not have a clear idea of what it actually is… Their why for doing the things that they do.

Why does PURPOSE matter?  Knowing your purpose is essential to success in your personal and professional life…

Knowing your purpose is essential to success in your personal and professional life… Regardless of what success looks like for you, doing it just for money, or just to pay the bills can be an effective motivator for a time, but sooner or later even these primary drivers lack substance in the long term.

Lets face it, most of us at some point have been in a job for the money or to pay the bills yet we’ve hated every minute of being there… Dreaming of a time that we could be doing something we “truly” love.

Here’s the rub… work without meaning is well just that, work… But the flip side of that is; even the most mundane of jobs when done by someone who believes it is their purpose, can become an insatiable passion…

Work without meaning is well just that, work…

The trouble is; so often we are locked into careers, businesses and jobs that have long since lost their meaning and rather than reaching out towards our full potential and living a life that leaves a legacy for others, we spend our time and energy just running the clock down to a time when we can do something we really love (after we retire)…

Why is the Why so important?

So why is knowing your purpose so important?

1. Knowing your purpose, helps you to make choices and decisions now that will influence and shape the future you are working towards… It’s nice to have goals and dreams, but if we don’t fully understand why we are heading towards that destination, we will not always take the chances or opportunities that lead to our destiny. Competing interests, priorities and other people’s agendas will always crowd out the decision making of a person who does not know their purpose. Knowing your purpose, helps you to make choices now that will shape the future

2. Knowing your purpose will also help you assess if the direction you are heading is actually the best fit for you. Just because you’ve got a dream or a goal to achieve, doesn’t mean it is a good fit for your personality, gifts, and stage of life. Challenging your goals / dreams and asking yourself the hard questions about why you’re chasing them will help you assess the long term viability and satisfaction that they can bring. As the old adage says’ “there is no point reaching the top of the ladder if it’s leaning up against the wrong wall…”

No point reaching the top of the ladder if it’s leaning up against the wrong wall…

3. Knowing our purpose pushes us from our comfort zone. If fear of failure or fear of loss in security are the only whys that drive you, you will always play life safe and will miss the opportunities to grow and stretch to your full potential. Knowing your bigger purpose, the thing that is bigger that your own personal needs or fears will give you the courage to step out beyond your comfort zone. With each step you take outside your comfort zone you will push back the limits and the boundaries of your fear. With each step beyond the safe zone, you will step closer to living in your full potential. Each step you take outside your comfort zone pushes back the limits of your fear.

So what’s your purpose. Your why that keeps you going? I sum my why up like this: To live a life helping others reach their full potential. It’s broad enough to encompass a range of my skill sets and passions but specific enough to help me stay on track with my goals while still pushing me beyond the safe zone of my own selfish fears.

With every opportunity, or decision I make, I ask myself; is this step going to help others reach their full potential? If I can answer yes to that, then it gives me a clearer step forward. Under that I have some more specific whys that relate to my skill set, family desires and personal aspirations, but they are all ultimately framed around this one simple life statement.

My challenge for you: Can you state your life purpose simply and succinctly? Does it give you a why for what you do that is bigger than your own personal feelings or desires?  If not, take some time to think through your purpose. Your why and right it down. Filter all of your activities and aspirations through it and ask yourself “what needs to change, what can stay the same…?”

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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6 Steps to Discovering Your Purpose

6 steps to discovering your purpose

So, you know it’s important to know your purpose. But what if you don’t know what it is? How can you discover it?

In my previous post I suggested some reasons why knowing your purpose or “why” is so important to reaching your full potential both personally and professionally. But what if you don’t know what that purpose is? Or you’ve discovered that the purpose that was driving you, needs some reevaluation…what then?

John Maxwell suggested 6 questions that can help us assess and identify our why:

1.Do you love what you’re doing now? Seems kind of obvious but if you don’t like what you’re doing now, change it. Too many people keep themselves trapped in jobs and situations that they don’t like, all the while complaining about how much they hate their job, life, etc…  Too many people keep themselves trapped in jobs and situations that they don’t like

Complaining about your situation without changing it does nothing to help you find your purpose, it only makes everyone else around you miserable. Conversely, if you really love what you do, then it’s a good indication you are doing something aligned with your bigger purpose. I like to call this your passion. If you’re doing something you love and it doesn’t feel like a chore, lean into it.

Complaining about your situation without changing it does nothing to help you find your purpose”

2. What would you like to do? Do you have something that you’ve always dreamed of doing? Something that when you’re not preoccupied with the mundane of life it always invades your thoughts? When you’ve got spare time you look for ways to do it? This is called your desire. When your passion and desire intersect, that is where you find purpose… But before you rush out to pursue your desires the next question is important…

“When your passion and desire intersect, that is where you find purpose”

3. Can You do what you want to do? We’ve all seen those folks on TV singing competitions, who say singing is their life, they dream about nothing else but singing, but when they open their mouth everyone cringes because they just can’t sing!

Not all desires should be pursued. If it’s not a gift you possess or something in your strength zone, don’t try and do it. You’ll only frustrate yourself… Ask yourself what you are good at. If you’re not sure what your gift is, what do others say that you’re good at? What’s a task or activity that comes easy to you and brings you enjoyment?  That’s where you’ll start to get closer to your strength zone. “Not all desires should be pursued.”

4. Do you know people who do what you want to do? One of the keys to moving into the area of your desires is knowing others who have gone before you. People who can show you the way, can give you insights into the challenges and how to face them. If the answer is no, start by seeking out and building relationship with others who can do what you want to do.

Jim Rohn says: you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Are the people you spend your time with helping you move towards your desires or away from your desires? This is your environment. To discover and go after your purpose you have to create the environment around you that will be conducive to your growth.

Some others ways you can achieve this is by joining a mastermind group, getting a coach or joining a professional organisation related to your passion. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

5. Will you pay the price? As Maxwell says; To go up you must be prepared to give up… Every stage of your growth and development will require a price to be paid in sacrifice. Having a desire and a passion is a start, but it will only really be realised if you are prepared to pay the price required to achieve it. You will have a good indication of your purpose when you know what you’re prepared to sacrifice for.

“You will have a good indication of your purpose when you know what you’re prepared to sacrifice for ”

6. When can you start doing it? It’s one thing to have a passion and even have the drive to make it happen, but until your desire become action it will remain just that; desire. Purpose is tie closely to action, without action your purpose will remain unrealised. Have you started taking steps toward your purpose? If not, when will you start? The things you move towards today will become your legacy for tomorrow. What are you moving towards now? Do you need to change your focus?

Until your desire becomes action it will remain just that; desire #blogpost Discover your purpose”

Your turn: Do you know your why? Post it below. If not, get started today. take yourself through the above the questions and let me know what you discover. Go on, I’ll be here when you get back. Make your start today.

If you’d like help to walk through this process with somebody, contact me for a free coaching session. I’d love to walk you through it.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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3 Tips For Operating With Integrity

The number 1 leadership characteristic for success: integrity.

Find out how integrity can lift or place a lid on your leadership growth… 

While leaders come in all shapes and sizes and every leader needs to work to their strengths, when developing their leadership capacity, it is character not skill that will keep you growing and moving forward. As John Maxwell says; “charisma will get you in the door but character will keep you in the room”.

charisma will get you in the door but character will keep you in the room @johncmaxwell Share on X

So what are some essential characteristics or qualities of a truly great leader? Every writer has their own list of essentials. Some long, some short, but the #1 characteristic that always comes up and will keep coming up in your growth journey is: Integrity…

Integrity: Why does it matter? 

This is a funny one… because although I think most leaders understand and believe that integrity is important, whenever I teach this, it very quickly becomes apparent in a group that your idea of “right” may be quite different to my idea of “right”.

The dictionary defines integrity as: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. C.S. Lewis puts it this way: Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.

In culture of fluid moral values, integrity is becoming a dangerously abstract concept. Share on X

On one hand it may appear that it’s just basic common sense, but in a culture that is so fluid in it perceptions of right and wrong, moral sense seems to be far less common than we thought. This can be an even bigger challenge a leaders who lack the ability to think critically and is reluctant to stand for any one set of moral values, lest they offend someone in the process.

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching. C.S.Lewis Share on X

So what to do…?

How do we define integrity in a culture that has such fluid moral values. Ultimately this has to come don to the individual. You have to do some hard work on assessing your own values and asking the questions if your values and actions actually convey integrity.

Leaders who lack the ability to think critically will struggle to stand for anything of value when it counts Share on X

2 Simple Questions

To simplify the concept I like to assess my integrity by asking myself 2 simple questions:

1. If someone posted my actions and words on Facebook post, would I have to start making excuses to justify my choice, or would it be a non-event? If you have to justify or explain your actions then chances are; you’re skirting the boundaries of integrity.

2. Another way of testing your integrity is to ask “do I need to do this on the quiet?” If you are intuitively doing things privately or secretly to avoid the scrutiny of others, then you’re probably treading on dangerous territory with your integrity.

See, integrity it is less about whether you think what you’re doing is wrong and whether others will perceive what you’re doing as wrong.

Integrity is less about what you do and more about the perception that you convey Share on X

If the perception of others is that you are doing something dodgy, then whether you are or not, it will begin to erode your leadership credibility.

An ancient Jewish teacher suggested that a wise leader will avoid even the appearance of evil.

a wise leader will avoid even the appearance of evil Share on X

So how’s your integrity? Do you need to do some work on how you operate in this space?

3 Tips for operating with integrity:

  1. Deal in Truth. Half-truths always end up tending towards lies and misunderstanding. Make it a habit to always speak honestly and truthfully.
  2. Operate with Transparency. If you have to hide it, it will only lead to dishonesty. Whatever you do, be transparent and accessible to others.
  3. Maintain Accountability. Put people around you that you trust who will call you on your stuff. Give them permission to speak into your life and to challenge your integrity if they have concerns. Then listen to them if they do.

You will only grow personally and professionally to the level that you can build and maintain credibility with others. Your character will win you credibility and keep you in the game long after the fly by nights have disappeared.

Your leadership will grow to the level that you can build and maintain credibility with others Share on X

What are your tips for assessing and maintaining credibility in your leadership?

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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Are your friends holding you back?

The people your spend the most time with will have a direct influence on your ability to reach your full potential... Are your friends holding you back?

The people your spend the most time with will have a direct influence on your ability to reach your full potential…

Leadership expert Jim Rohn says that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.

Basically what he is saying is that if you look at your life where it is at right now, your finance, the type of job you have, the type of attitudes you have, the way that life is going, you will probably find; the five people you spend the most time in your day actually have similar attitudes, similar values, similar monitory situations, similar job, etc, etc.

As human beings we have a tendency to want to be the same as the people around us and we will subconsciously move ourselves to the level of the people that we spend the most time with.

Well this brings up an interesting thing. If you are looking at your life and you are dissatisfied with where you are at. And you have got dreams to be something more, or achieving more, or go somewhere in your life, a really helpful exercise is to write down those dreams, write down your values, write down your money goals, write down your career aspiration, and then look at the five friends you spend the most time with and do the same thing for them…

Do they same share values as where you want to head, or  are their value slightly different. Do they have same attitudes towards work or the career, maybe their drive, their aspirations, their ambitions… what do they look like compared to your attitude, your ambitions and your aspirations.

What you will find is there will be some who share same values and aspirations and some who don’t. And if you want to actually move forward, what you are going to have to do is; you are going to have readjust the time you spend with the people who perhaps don’t share the attitude and aspirations that you do. I am not saying to cut people out of your life, but sometimes you are going to have re-evaluate the amount of time and the amount of input that certain people have on your future success and aspiration.

You might find that there is some you need to spend more time with and then there are others you need to spend less time with. Because whether you intend it or not, sooner or later, you will become the average of those people you spend the most time with.

So who is important in your life at the moment, who do you spend the most time with? Are they helping you to get where you want to go or they holding you back because they don’t share the same values, ambitions and aspirations that you do.

It is a really helpful exercise that might shock you and it might be little bit scary, but I encourage you to do it. You will find that it has a tremendous impact on where you are heading in your life.

You can lead no matter where you find yourself in life and I just want to encourage you to be brave and take a step towards your future.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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How My Taxi Driver Taught Me Gratitude

PRESS PLAY, WATCH THE VIDEO OR READ BELOW…

Ancient Greek Philosopher Epicurus said “Don’t spoil what you have by desiring what you don’t have. Because the things you have are the things once have hoped for.”

Gratitude is the essential part of doing life well. When we learn to be thankful for what we have it actually gets us focused on the things that matter in life, it gets us tapped into the source of good in our life.

I was in San Diego yesterday waiting for a car to pick me up for the airport. The car service never arrived and I was running late for the airport… I was frustrated so called a taxi. The  taxi driver turned up and he was happy and amiable, wanting to help and wanting to have a conversation…

So as I sat in the cab on the way to the airport, I started chatting with him… I asked him about his family and he told me that he was from Congo and his family was still stuck back in Africa and he was 10 years without his family. Although he had approval to bring them out to the States, he had not been able to do so because of the corruption and the war in his own country…

Ten years without your family!

You know I have a hard enough time being away from my family for 10 days and I can’t even imagine what that would be like… and all of a sudden the perspective of my own life kicked in. While I was frustrated and annoyed and wishing I had a better experience with my pick up for the airport, here was a man who had far more to complain about, yet he was happy, he was amiable, he is wanting to be positive about life…

It got me thinking about gratitude, how important it is to doing life well and tapping in to the source of good. When we are focused on good we make great choices and we can do more and be more in our lives…

Find something to be grateful for in your life today and thank somebody who makes your day a little easier, do that and you’ll find you enjoy the present far more and spend less time wishing the future would arrive to change everything you’re unhappy with…

I am Tarun Stevenson, reminding you that you can lead well no matter where you are in your life…

Give me reaction on this video even if you did not like it, give me a thumbs down or thumbs up or comment, share with the friend that you think he needs to hear this message.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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Why We Should Form The Habit of Forgiveness

So I go out this morning to grab a coffee and a bite to eat before I head off to the airport and ordered my coffee and croissant, the coffee comes and it is the wrong coffee. It’s skinny milk instead of full cream milk and it is in a larger cup than I had ordered… and they charged me more for my coffee than I was meant to pay.

Then I get my croissant out and the croissant is cold and I had to go back three or four times with this order…The guys standing behind the counter are really feeling bad and are apologetic.

You know the consumer in me starts to think to myself that I should be really annoyed about this. I paid $10.50 for this croissant and the coffee, which isn’t very good and they did not get my order… but you know these guys feel bad enough as it is. I don’t need to make they day any worse by complaining or getting angry or losing my stuff over a bit of coffee, because really what’s that going to do? It’s going to change my day? It’s certainly not going make their day better…

And it got my thinking…

You know forgiveness, forgiveness is such an important part of doing life well. We can forgive, when we can let go of anger and let go of grudges, let go of bitterness, it helps us to be better. It helps us to do more, helps us to achieve more in our lives… and it’s really not about whether the other person has done the right thing or not. Forgiveness is really about allowing yourself to move on, allowing yourself to still enjoy your existence regardless of what happens to you.

Now I know coffee is a small thing it’s not like some big things that are often very hard to deal within and very hard to process. But the reason I think it is important to practice forgiveness in this small things is because; your small daily habits have a big impact when big events happen. If you are in the habit of forgiving when it is a little thing like a coffee you going to be more likely to default to forgiveness when something really big happens in your life.

But if we form habits of always being complaining, always being angry, always being unsatisfied with what is going on in our lives… or angry with what people have done to us. When the big stuff, the stuff that really matters, actually happens to us… it makes much harder to default to those positive responses.

Now will I go back there again? Probably not. It’s probably not good customer service, but that’s a video for another day, but I just really thought the attitude in the way we respond to little things in our life, make a huge difference for the big stuff in our life.

I am Tarun reminding you that you can lead well no matter where you find yourself.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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How to Enjoy The Journey

Every destination requires a journey. How well you travel can be as important as getting to the destination. 

So I’m at the airport, I’m just about to leave and Honolulu airport has got this cool causeway that’s actually open to the planes so you can watch them! (See Video)

You know I love coming to airports whenever I am travelling somewhere. There is this sense of excitement about where I am going. Whether it’s off on a new adventure or if it’s heading home to see my family as I am now. There’s that sense of excitement of the new destination and the expectancy of what’s going to happen…. But you know almost as much as I love coming to the airport, I hate long plane rides. I’m about to get on a plane trip that is over 10 hours long and I don’t like it! But that’s life, isn’t it?

Sometimes to get to your destination, you’ve got to go through a long journey… 

to get to your destination, you've got to go through a long journey... Share on X

Any kind of growth, any kind of development, requires a journey of process. It requires hard slogs, step by step towards where you are going.

The interesting thing about journey’s though is, that is where your real character comes out.

it's the journey's where your real character comes out. Share on X

On a long plane trip, you’re crammed in with other people you don’t know, and it requires patience, it requires tolerance, it requires courtesy. It requires me to eat things I don’t like, it requires me to talk to people I wouldn’t normally talk to… You know there’s all sorts of opportunities for character development that come out on a long journey. Interestingly this is usually your true character emerges when you’re under pressure.

When you’re on the journey towards your destination, that’s when your true character shows. Use that time to grow, use that time to develop your character and internal fortitude, because when you arrive at your destination it’s that character that will carry you through to the next faze of your life.

when you arrive at your destination it's that character that will carry you through Share on X

You can lead well no matter where you’re at.

Please share this video and blog if you know someone that needs to hear it and give me some kind of reaction… a thumbs up or thumbs down or comment.

Look forward to talking to you again real soon when I’m on the ground in Australia… Be well.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work