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How I Beat Procrastination for Good

Four easy Steps to Beat Procrastination at Work for Good.

Four easy steps to master procrastination. How I beat procrastination and learned to work more efficiently while increasing my productivity and capacity.

Hi, my name is Tarun Stevenson and I am a procrastinator. For as long as I can remember, I have put off what can be done today for tomorrow. In fact for a long time I thought that was what the old proverb said; Why do today what can be put off for tomorrow…

“Why do today what can be put off for tomorrow… Said every procrastinator ever!” 

I remember being at college in my late teens and wandering around the dorm rooms during exam block trying to find just one other fellow student who was, like me, not studying and convince them to go down-town just so I didn’t feel guilty for avoiding my own study…

If that failed I would find a good student who was studying and convince them that they needed to take a break and come hang out for a while. I was pretty convincing and always managed to get somebody to come along.

The night before exam day would come, I would realise my need to study and hit the books hard for 12 hours. Fortunately, I usually did well with this strategy, except I just never retained anything beyond the exam and the amount of pressure I put myself under to work like this was ridiculous.

I took this habit into my work life and many times put myself under intense stress trying to get work done at the last minute. I would usually feel guilty for having not done the work earlier but no matter how good my intentions were to start sooner, I always found myself putting things off time and time again.

If I did on the rare occasion get onto my work early, I would often (and still do) get distracted easily with a dozen other tasks that were less pressing and often end up behind the 8 ball regardless.

“Procrastination is like a credit card… fun until you get the bill. Christopher Parker” 

Sound like you? Do you have a list of jobs a mile long that you know you need to get to but keep finding yourself distracted or putting them off for less productive tasks? Do you have people around you constantly say don’t put it off; get onto it now… but you never do? Maybe you do try to get started early but there is always something that takes your focus and you end up losing momentum on the things that matter?

Hey I hear you… the good news is this doesn’t have to be something that holds you back. What I am discovering, is there is some very sound science as to why this happens, and there are some very easy strategies to help you manage this.

“Work expands to fill the time available for it’s completion.” Parkinsons Law ” 

First the science:
1. Parkinson’s Law
While observing productivity trends in the British Civil Service through the 1950’s, a guy by the name of Cyril Northcote Parkinson suggested that the longer you have to complete a task the longer it will take for you to get working on it. Basically you will extend your work to the limit of the deadline.

Why this can be a problem for procrastinator is; we intuitively understand this and will always push our work schedule out to accommodate the deadline that we have.

Mel Robbins talks about this extensively in her book “The 5 Second Rule”, but basically the reason you tend to leave everything to the last minute is; it is your brain’s way of prioritising your workload.

In a sense your brain looks at all the tasks and activities you have and prioritises them in order of urgency. If you’ve got a report due in 2 weeks, your brain will tell you to push it out for 2 weeks to leave room for other more potentially pressing issues that may or may not come up. You may or may not have something more pressing, but your brain wants to make sure if something comes up, you have thinking capacity for it. It’s like your brain is planning ahead for you.

Great if you actually have stuff come up, but more often that not, we allow this margin or space to be filled with other non-essential tasks and other people’s emergencies. In the end, we usually have no margin left, even if creating margin was the point of procrastinating in the first place.

2. Its all about coping
Psychologist Fuschia Sirois suggests that procrastination is closely linked to our moods and is often a coping mechanism for self-regulating stress.

The process of completing a task, meeting a deadline or learning a new topic can often be a catalyst for stress. It takes effort and mental focus that can cause immense internal discomfort. For the procrastinator, work avoidance can often be linked to the desire to make one’s self feel good now versus waiting to complete the task before enjoying your desired reward.

“The procrastinator uses work avoidance to relieve stress: It’s a vicious cycle” 

Essentially a desire for instant gratification vs delayed gratification. However the problem researchers Tice , James and Baumeister found is; the quality of work a procrastinator produces is often compromised and frequently unfinished. On top of this they also found that procrastinators although looking to relieve stress in the short term, ended up suffering greater amounts of stress over the long term by delaying the inevitable.

“The quality of a procrastinator’s work is often compromised and unfinished…” 

The reality is; although procrastination can have negative outcomes in the way that you work, I know as a procrastinator I have an immense ability to produce under pressure and I often think some of my best work is done under these conditions. Or is it?

You probably feel the same way. That’s what we do as procrastinators… we excuse ourselves because the thought of working any other way is just unthinkable…

“Procrastination is one of the deadliest of diseases… Wayne Gretzky” 

But I am realising when I do get organised and manage my procrastination I actually have some work in me that is really great but I never thought possible while I was procrastinating.

When I procrastinate, I might think it’s my best work but in fact it is only the best work I can produce under the pressured deadline. I’ve begun wondering, how much more could I achieve if I gave myself the time and focus to do it well? Am I actually selling myself short?

There is also the wider toll it takes is on the people around you. Family, work colleagues & and friends all have to put up with the stress and the pressure of a procrastinators deadlines. Often the long-term relational stress this can cause can out way the short-term gains in personal stress relief…

“Procrastination ultimately leads to greater stress for the individual and others” 

I am also finding that as I get my procrastinating under control, I have increased my capacity as a leader. My ability to accomplish more in my life, take on greater challenges for even greater rewards has increased as I have taken steps to challenge the excuses of my procrastination and face the pain of delayed gratification.

“My ability to accomplish more has increased as I’ve dealt with procrastination.” 

How much are you selling yourself short on? Do you have dreams that remain unrealised because of your unwillingness to push beyond the temporary pain of getting onto of your procrastinating?

Why not make today the day that you do something about it…

What to do?
Ok so you’ve know you want to do something about it, but what do you need to do? Here’s some tips that have helped me to manage my tendency to procrastinate and increase my capacity and productivity.

1. Remove distractions
Tim Ferriss’ book 4 Hour Work Week has some great suggestions on this. Basically, the idea that we can multi task or that multitasking makes us more efficient is a myth. In the age when constant digital distractions can be your undoing, bring them under control is the first step to bring procrastination under control.

• Turn off all your notifications on your phone and computer. Get rid of the constant dinging of notifications and schedule time to manage each of your apps that require your attention. Rather than letting Facebook and email pull you away from the work you must do, determine that you will only check them at set intervals through the day. This has the dual benefit of helping you to stay focused but also gives you a timed break as a reward for staying on task.

• Close all the extra tabs on your computer, turn off the TV in the background and only have “on” what is related to your current task.

• If there are other distractions, like work environment, family or friends; find a space you can work away from these distractions for a time.

2. Focus on one task at a time
Now that you’ve removed your distractions, chose one task at a time that you will focus on.

Studies from Stanford show that your brain can’t process more than one string of information at any one time. In fact, in this study, chronic multi-taskers were found to have less efficiency, clarity and ability to retain critical information than low multitaskers.

Once the task is set, work on it until completed before picking up another task. If it is not a task that can be finished in one sitting, schedule a set amount of time in which you will give all your focus to that task before moving on to the next one.

“Multitasking is a myth. You’re not doing more, better… you’re just doing less, badly” 

3. Keep a list and give everything a deadline.
Take a moment in your morning before starting work to write yourself a list of tasks for the day. Once you’ve set your list, give yourself a deadline for each task.

This will help you use Parkinson’s law to your advantage. If your brain is going to insist on expanding your work to the amount of time allotted to it, give your brain deadline that will get you working on your project sooner instead of leaving it till the last minute.

The list will also come in handy for those moments when other tasks pop into your head trying to lure you away from your focus. Write the extra ideas, jobs, thoughts and distractions down on your list for attention after you have finished. Reassure yourself that you will come back to it, you just need to get your current work done now.

By writing down your ideas, thoughts and distractions, you will ensure you don’t forget them and you will put your mind at ease about waiting till later to give them attention.

4. Reward yourself with frequent breaks
If part of the function of procrastination is to; help your brain decompress from the stress it is experiencing, then building in regular reward breaks can be very effective.

If you have been putting off a task that you know you should do but you “just want to give yourself a chance to relax” or have “lost your mojo” or “hit a wall”, then you are probably not giving yourself enough opportunities to rest, or reward yourself as you work. Brain fatigue can be a big cause of procrastination and if you wait until you’ve hit the wall, you’ll usually end up wasting way more time than you can afford.

“Taking shorter breaks more often improves problem solving and increase efficiency” 

Instead, give yourself a shorter time block to work with no distraction and build in regular brain breaks that reward you for your focus. Work 30mins then take five-minute walk, make a coffee or get yourself a treat, under the proviso that as soon as than five-minute break is done, it’s straight back to the task at hand.

Giving yourself short regular breaks can help avert the massive burn out that often comes with working non-stop.

Regular short breaks can also improve efficiency. Your brain has 2 modes of working. Focus mode and Thinking mode. Your thinking mode is where you problem solve and make connections. By taking short breaks from your focus mode you give your brain a chance to evaluate what it’s working on and work through any problems that may have cropped up.

Regular breaks also help with boredom. If you are working on a task that you consider boring, regular breaks will help to break it up and maintain your motivation and focus.

Get to it
Ok now that you’ve just procrastinated from your task at hand by reading this blog, it’s time to get back to it. Decide to implement these 4 easy steps in your work routine and then let me know how you go (when you have scheduled time for email!)

“Quit making excuses and just do it! You’re excuses haven’t changed anything yet” 

It will take practice to develop a new habit in the way you work, it won’t happen overnight. But if you’re prepared to put in the effort, the rewards to your productivity, stress, and overall capacity will be immense. Give it a go and quit procrastinating today…

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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3 Energy Hacks To Increase your Productivity

We all have the same 24hrs in the day and while time management is crucial to maximising your day, managing your energy levels well, will ensure the 24 hours you have are your most productive.

“We all have the same 24hrs in the day: How you use it is what counts. “

Here’s 3 tips to help you hack your body’s energy levels and continue working at your peak.

1. Eat Clean: It is so easy when you’re busy, to just grab what ever is convenient or worse still forget to eat at all… I know I’ve been guilty of it. Often we use the excuse; “I don’t have time to eat, let alone eat healthy…” I am however learning that the better I eat, the more energy I have and the more productive I become.

You’ll need to find a eating plan that works for you, but some quick tips that I’ve found really help are:

a. Cut out processed foods, take away and foods high in sugar.

b. Reduce meat and chicken consumption. Eat more fish, if you can’t go vegan.

c. Fill up on fresh veggies and fruit rather than starchy carbs (bread, pasta, rice etc. )

d. Reduce caffeine, soda, alcohol & juices and drink more water.  (I’m a caffeine fiend, but as Ive cleaned up my eating I’ve craved it less and less and find I actually sleep better.)

e. Reduce dairy. I love my cheese, milk and cream, but since reducing my consumptions of it I feel way less sluggish and bloated.

2. Get enough Sleep: when you’re hustling, it’s easy to think sleep is an optional extra. Burning the candle at both ends may even work for a little while, but sooner or later your lack of energy will catch up on you and end up doing more harm than good to your productivity. What to do?

“Burning the candle at both ends may work for a little while, but sooner or later your lack of energy will catch up on you”

a. Figure out how much you sleep you need as a minimum.

b. determine when you need to get up and work backwards to ensure you get enough rest. ( I like to get up at 4:30 – 5:00 and need 8 hrs sleep, so I have to make sure I’m heading to bed around 8:30 – 9:00. Might sound early, but I get way more done if I’m on top of it. The nights that I watch “just one more episode…” of whatever is on netflix and miss my ideal bedtime, are always followed by a morning that I struggle to get out of bed, take longer to get moving in the morning and end up getting less done as a result. I’m preaching to myself now… the stolen late nights never ever end up paying for themselves the next day (whether you’re working or wasting time.) Get your sleep.

c. Read before sleeping. Preferably not something work related or on a device. 30mins spent in a book will help to wind down your mind, help you relax quicker and sleep better.

d. If this is a struggle use Mel Robbins 5 second rule to get yourself going and establishing good habits… it works…

Bonus hack. If you’re sleeping before 10pm it’s like adding an extra 2 hours to your sleep. You will feel way more energised than if you got to sleep after this time.

3. Move More

Whether you’re a couch potato or a gym bunny, regular light exercise will help you to feel more energised and last longer throughout your day. I’m not a fitness freak and struggle to exercise as much as I should, but being in the sedentary job that I am, I am painfully aware of the negative effects of sitting for too long.

“Whether you’re a couch potato or a gym bunny, regular light exercise will help you to feel more energised”

Ok so right now I’m not talking to those of you who have regular exercise routines. You already know the benefit of exercise and could probably teach me a thing or two. But for all of you who are like me and feel like exercise is a curse word, here some simple things you can do to get more movement into your day without having to join a gym.

a. Stand up… I have for the past year at work been using a standing desk rather than sitting all day long. Just by standing, I tend to move around more even while I work, and I tend to go for walks away from my desk more regularly than if I am at a sitting desk. (Experts tell me that standing all day is like going to the gym for 30 mins. Not sure if that’s true, but hey I’ll take it.)

b. Park away from the office or meeting and walk. If you have a choice of car parks, choose the one that is further away from your destination. Those few hundred extra steps each day will add up.

c. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. When I worked in a corporate office high rise, I would eat my lunch on the ground floor and take the stairs back to my office on the 5th floor. It made a huge difference. If you work on the 50th floor this may be harder, but if you are in an office that has more than one level, try visiting just 3-4 levels below you to eat your lunch, then take the stairs back up.

d. Track your steps. WIth the proliferation of fitness trackers, there is no reason not to know how much activity you are getting in your day. Track your average current movment and then set yourself a goal to up it by only 10%. Once you get there, up it again. It won’t be long before you are moving way more than you used to. Your body will thank you for it and you will become more productive.

Your Turn, What do you do to manage your energy and improve your productivity? Got any hacks you’d like to share?

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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5 Seconds to a New You

The missing piece for mastering change and shifting from a life of dreams to reality. 

My review and observations of Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule.

If you tune into my weekly FB Live Video “Leadership Digest”, you would have heard me mention a new book I’m reading “The 5 Second Rule” by Mel Robbins.

I don’t ordinarily review books on my blog but I have been so taken by the concepts in this book that I feel compelled to share it with you all. Regardless of whether you intend to get the book or not, take a moment to read through this article cause I know it will give you some tools that will really help you in your personal development journey.

Now I just want to be straight up; I have not been asked to give this review, I was not approached by her publisher and I am not being paid in any way for my review. This is 100% my personal experience and perspective based on how it has impacted me personally.

Why?

If you’ve spent anytime around the personal development industry either as a consumer and or a practitioner, I have no doubt that you would have come across 3 concepts that really underpin most of what the personal development industry offers. They are: Goals, Mindset, Action.

Basically the 3 fundamentals to growth in just about any area of your life will depend on your ability to set meaningful and effective Goals, to manage your mindset or attitude on your journey towards said goals and willingness to take action in breaking old habits and forming new ones that will move you towards your desired outcome.

I myself have blogged and taught along this line in most of the work that I do as a Leadership and growth coach.

But there’s a catch…

While I still do firmly believe in these fundamental concepts to shaping and designing your life, there has always been a piece that I have felt is missing in th this equation. A fact of coaching and life is: no matter how much a person wants to change there is always that challenge of overcoming the self sabotaging habits and thoughts that keep us stuck in in-action.

So often, despite our deep urge to want to change, we remain stuck in self defeating feedback loops of in-action; ultimately because we are creatures of habit. We form these habits to protect ourselves and with as much urgency that we apply to our desire for change we often have an equal and opposite force working against our desire to keep us stuck…

Coaches know this, because one of the questions you’ll find on almost all coaching agreements is: “What’s one thing that I can say or do to help you when you get stuck, that will help you move forward.”

Coaches know regardless of the amount of positive energy, motivation, encouragement, desire or knowledge they give to the client, there is always a point where the individual will get stuck and there is nothing you can say to get them through it… Ultimately as a coach you can lead a person to the point of change and arm them with all the tools and knowledge for change but unless they can find within themselves the will, motivation ability to take action, there is nothing you can do to make them change…

I saw this over and over again as a behaviour coach in high schools. Time and time again I worked with children who had a deep desire to change behaviours that were negatively impacting their life. They knew the importance of their need to change yet were unable to take action to make the change.

Regardless of the encouragement, support or consequence that was put in place, they would keep returning to the negative habits of dysfunctional behaviour. Even when they insisted they didn’t want to. Like the old proverb of the dog returning to it’s vomit, these students would keep coming back to their self-destructive behaviour patterns and there was nothing I or anyone else could do to change that. Ultimately they had to do it for themselves.

My one lament through all of this was; if only there was some way that I could help them by-pass their emotional instinctive part of their thinking that kept them locked in self sabotage and move them into their rational brain, long enough to take action and keep taking action until they started forming new habits for change…

Enter Mel Robbins…

In “The 5 Second Rule” Mel Robbins offers a tool to do just that. Bridge the gap between desire and action by helping the individual bypass the emotional parts of our thinking that keep us stuck. She teaches a technique that helps us to do a brain re-set if you will, to short circuit negative feedback loops and take actions on the things that we instinctively know within ourselves that we need to change.

Put simply, Mel Robbins suggests that when we find ourselves stuck in those moments when we know we need to choose a different path of action but feel overwhelmed to stay stuck, we can actually by-pass this process by simply counting backwards from 5. 5, 4 , 3, 2, 1… Sound ridiculous..? Yep, I thought so too… but here’s the kicker; it works!

When I heard about the rule, I decided to try it out to see if it would work. And to my surprise it did… It in effect it acts like a brian reset, forcing your brain to turn off that emotional instinctive part of our brain (that keeps us stuck in in-action) and shift it’s operations to the prefrontal cortex (the part of our brain that deals with logical thought). This simple act gives you a tiny window of clear rational thought to take affirmative action for change, before the emotion and fear come back to paralyse you again…

While Mel Robbins discovered this purely by accident when she was trying to overcome her own patterns of self-destructive behaviour (her personal story in the book is very engaging and authentic), in “The 5 Second Rule” she also goes into great details around the science of how this actually works. There’s actually a stack of science to back this up!

Here’s Mel to explain it:

It’s no magic pill…

As I said I have started putting into practice in my own life and seen it start to have a powerful effect on all sorts of areas from negative thoughts about another person to managing poor eating habits… I’ve even tried to teach it to my children and my oldest boy (14) who has started using it to help him focus in school is seeing results.

But it’s no magic pill. You won’t find just by doing it once it magically fix all of your self defeating habits… It needs to be used regularly to help you form new habits and thinking patterns. As Robbins say; it’s a tool that you can pull out every time you find yourself stuck. What it does is gives you an window of opportunity to take action. You still have to take the action! You may need to use it 100 times a day to take lots of small steps in positive action before you start seeing big results. But the exciting thing is: now you can.

While before fighting thoughts of self doubt, fear, self loathing may have meant trying to fight a battle in your mind that always ended in defeat, now you have a tool that gives the rational you the edge. The part of you that knows your need for change and is actually willing to take the action.

You have to use it…

Much like the previous paragraph, for it to work you have to actually try it out and get consistant with using it. I tried to help my 7 y.o. use it the other day when he was having a moment and he stubbornly said to me no, “I will never do that..!” The reality is, you can read the book, watch the video and even think it’s a great concept, but unless you put it into practice you won’t see any benefit from it.

So is the book any good? 

Mel Robbins publishers are comparing this book to some of the classics like; Think & Grow Rich by Nepolean Hill and Good to Great by Jim Collins… is it that good? Maybe. Only time will tell, but from my perspective I don’t think they are over reaching in their comparison. Robbins work is really ground breaking. It is a breath of fresh air in an industry where it seems like everyone is rehashing the same old concepts in a new package.

Robbins actually offers a significant click forward for personal development and provides what I believe to be a missing piece in the puzzle of helping individuals grow and reach their full potential.

Her writing is conversational and easily accessible to the casual reader but certainly not overly simplistic and vapid. Robbins uses her own personal story to engage the reader and frame otherwise complex psychological concepts in a way that any reader can understand.

For my money this is the book to read for 2017. Both personally and professionally I know this will have a huge impact on my life and that of the people I coach.  If you’re looking for the missing piece to moving your personal development journey forward, then I recommend you take a few days to read “The 5 Second Rule” then actually try putting into practice. You won’t regret it, and even if you do, just count down from 5 and move on… You’ve got nothing to lose.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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How to Increase Your Leadership Influence

3 ways to increase your influence and lift the lid of your leadership ability.

Congratulations! So, you finally got that promotion you’ve been chasing. Now you’ve got the official title, better office and a paycheck to go with it, others will definitely start respecting and listening to you now… won’t they?

Nope. Probably not… All too often when I work with aspiring leaders or leaders who struggle to lead with any kind of influence, the most common comment I hear is; “once I get the title, I’ll be able to  lead more effectively. Nobody listens to me now because I’m not in-charge. If I was in-charge things would be different.”

The sad truth is however, if you can’t lead and influence the people you work with without a title, the chance of you being able to do it with a title is slim.

“If you can’t lead people without a title, you won’t be able to do it with a title.”

Oh you might be able to make people do what you want, direct them, manage them, even bully them with a title, but to lead and influence effectively will take more than just a title.

Leadership is more than marshalling a group of people to do what you need them to do. Most employees will obey you because you pay them. Not because they respect you and actually want to follow you where you’re going. True leadership begins with others choosing (not being coerced) to follow you willingly.

“Leadership is more than marshalling a group of people to do what you need them to do”

It is to have a group of people who know, like and trust you and allow you to show them the way forward. It is to be able to cast a vision, set a course and gather the resources and people around you to see that shared vision achieved.

While a title might get you started on the way, it will not sustain you through the challenges of forging growth and change or help you get to your destination with a team that still believe in what you’re doing. Only loyal, believe in you, go over and above for you, followers will get you there. And that kind of loyalty can’t be forced, it must be willingly given.

“While a title might get you started, it will not sustain your leadership”

Leadership expert John Maxwell puts it simply with these two statements:”Everything rises and falls on Leadership [and] Leadership is Influence. Nothing more nothing less.”

In other words your ability to get to where you want to go is going to be dependant on your ability to influence (lead ) those around you. Conversely your failure to get to where you wanted to go thus far is a result of your ability to effectively influence those around you.

“Everything rises and falls on Leadership”

Ok, so now that we’ve got the cold hard truth out of the way, is there any hope for you? Isn’t leadership something you’re born with? What if you’re not a natural leader? Don’t worry. Yes there are some people who have a natural disposition to leadership but effective leadership can be learned and is not primarily dependant on your natural skill set or ability. Providing you’re willing to learn and put in the work, even you can become a more effective leader. And the great news is; you don’t have to wait until you’ve got “that” title to start… You can increase your influence starting today.

“Effective leadership can be learned and is not primarily dependant on your natural skill”

Here’s 3 tips to get you on the way to becoming a more effective leader and growing in your influence with others.

1.Leadership starts with you not your followers. 

To start on the path to effectively leadership you must recognise that everything rises and falls on your ability to lead not on your followers or teams ability to follow. Lead effectively and people will follow you. Period.

Everybody wants to follow somebody. It’s human nature. Are you the kind of leader that they feel confident following?

To start developing your influence you must start by developing yourself. You will only be able to effectively lead to the level of your own personal growth. Invest your time, energy and finances into growing and developing yourself in every area you can to be an effective leader. As you grow, others will recognise your growth and immediately be drawn to you. You won’t have to convince them, they will see it in you.

“As you grow, others will recognise your growth and immediately be drawn to you”

Become a continuous learner, read constantly, listen to podcasts, take courses, join mentorship groups, get a coach, surround yourself with strong leaders and your influence will grow.

2. Leadership take time to develop

Becoming an effective leader takes time. Lots of time. Taking one course on leadership will not make you a better leader overnight, it will start you on a path that will need to be continually honed, practiced and extended. Learn to see your leadership growth as a continual journey rather than a destination.

Learn to see your leadership growth as a continual journey rather than a destination Share on X

It’s easy to look at world class leaders like John Maxwell, Jack Welch or Jim Rohn and feel discouraged about where you’re at in your level of influence. It’s important to remind yourself that they also started where you are now. John Maxwell’s leadership journey has spanned 50 years. He was not the leader he is now in his 20s. Nor will you be the same leader you are now when you are 50 years along in your journey… Providing you stay the course and continue to learn and grow.

3. Leadership is about people not numbers or titles. 

Finally, remember that effective leadership begins and ends with people. It’s not about the numbers you can pull, the money you can make or even the accolades that may come with it. Nobody achieves their dreams without others who are willing to invest in it. To get to where you are going and leave a legacy worth remembering, you will need people to help take you there.

“effective leadership begins and ends with people” 

Put people first in your leadership journey and you will build a legacy that lives on well beyond your own time. Put profits and results above the wellbeing of people and as quickly as they help you reach your goals, they will bring you back to earth.

Nobody ever quits a company, or project. They quit crappy leaders. If you want others to trust you, follow you and help you get to where you’re going, start by showing them that you care about where they are at and help them get to where they are going.

“Nobody ever quits a company, or project. They quit crappy leaders.”

Do that and people will want to help you get to where you’re going.

Your turn, Start by changing your attitude and talk about where you are at. If you don’t like where you are in your career or personal life, stop blaming the people around you or trying to find a way to escape where you are and start developing your leadership right now.

Start by looking at yourself and putting a plan together to grow your leadership. Settle in for the journey and enjoy the time it will take to learn how to be an effective leader. And finally start investing in others.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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How Pain Can be a Great Teacher

Overcoming adversity

I am a teacher by profession and one common quip I hear is: ” those who can’t do, teach…” Now the implication is that people who can’t be a success in their own right often end up in a position teaching others how to do what they couldn’t.  This may have some truth to it but what I have found when it comes to pain and adversity is, most of us are better teachers than students.

It’s real easy to give advice to a friend when they are experiencing pain that we are not. It’s a whole lot harder to take our own advice or even the advice of others we we are the ones in the middle of the painful experience.

The reason (I believe) is; when the pain is not yours it’s much easier to take a higher perspective. See the big picture, by distancing ourselves from the pain of the circumstance and taking the long view.

It's real easy to give advice to a friend when they are experiencing pain that we are not Share on X

But as John Maxwell says; “when you’re losing, everything hurts…” All you can see is your pain and the circumstance you’re in. Taking the long view doesn’t even seem like an option and anyone that suggests it makes you feel like punching them in the face ( ok maybe that’s just me…?).

when you're losing, everything hurts... @JohnCMaxwell Share on X

What I am finding though, when we are able to elevate our perspective of the situation, adversity can actually become a great teacher. Instead of the stone around our neck, dragging us down, adversity can become the springboard that propels us on to opportunities and experiences that we could not have done or imagined prior to the painful experience.

when we are able to elevate our perspective of a situation, adversity can actually become a great teacher Share on X

It’s all in the way you look at the problem.

In his book “Sometimes you Win, Sometimes you Learn”, John Maxwell offers 6 ways that we can learn from our pain rather than letting it drag us down. I would like to share some of my responses to John’s points, I hope they will help you as they have done me.

1. Adversity Introduces Us to Ourselves If We Want to Know Ourselves

The way we react in adversity, reveals a lot about our true character. How we treat others, the choices we make, the thoughts we entertain when we are under fire, show us the limits of our own character. When we are honest enough to focus on our response to a situation rather than searching for who is to blame, we can learn much about the things that really make us tick. If we’re brave enough to acknowledge it and respond to our weaknesses the growth we experience through the challenge will far out weight the pain.

The way we react in adversity, reveals much about our true character Share on X


2. Adversity Is a Better Teacher Than Success If We Want to Learn from Adversity

The expression “No Pain, No Gain” is true of everything in life. If you want to grow in your capacity as a human being and in your ability to deal with challenging circumstances, pain is a given. It doesn’t mean it’s fun or even right, but if we ask ourselves how we can learn from our pain rather than trying to escape it, we truly do gain far more on the other side. Anyone who has achieved great success has done so  by learning through their challenges, adversity and pain. No exception.

If avoiding pain is what you prefer, then don’t expect to grow. Just like a bodybuilder experiences pain before their muscles grow, pain is the teacher that will bring us the most growth we desire.

If you want to grow the requirement to deal with challenging circumstances & pain is a given. Share on X

3. Adversity Opens Doors for New Opportunities If We Want to Learn from It

When we’re in the pit, the path forward is not always easy to see. When we develop the long view in pain, we can often discover new opportunities that we may have never entertained before the adversity.

My entering the teaching profession came from a situation where I lost what I thought was my dream job.

When we're in the pit, the path forward is not always easy to see Share on X

At the time I could not have imagined the skills I have developed and the opportunities I have had since becoming a teacher, but in regrouping and looking for a new opportunity to move forward I was able to find myself in a place that has seen more growth and reward for my life than my “dream job” ever could have.

4. Adversity Can Signal a Coming Positive Transition If We Respond Correctly to It

Sometimes positive transitions and opportunities can appear like adversity because of our expectations. If we expected a particular outcome and it didn’t work out the way we hoped, the immediate reaction can often be one of disappointment.

If we can adjust our expectation and response to realise that a disappointing outcome does not necessarily spell the end, but might just be a door that transitions us into something thing new, the disappointment can become a positive. It’s all in the way you look at it.

opportunities can sometimes appear like adversity because of our expectations Share on X

5. Adversity Brings Profit as Well as Pain If We Expect It and Plan for It

The question of whether pain will come or even why it comes really is not the point, it is more about whether we anticipate it and plan our response before hand. Anything we endeavour to achieve will at some point cause us some pain. If we anticipate it and plan to respond with a mindset of commitment, openness and positivity, we will learn and ultimately grow from it rather than letting it destroy us.

Anything we endeavour to achieve will at some point cause us some pain. Share on X

6. Adversity Writes Our Story. If Our Response Is Right, the Story Will Be Good

There are very few high, high moments in an individuals life. We usually mark those moments (wedding, birth of a child, graduation etc…) with celebration because they are far and few between. The true story or our life is frequently shaped not by the highs but how we navigate the lows or the dozens of ordinary days that we face. Those are the times that really shape up.

How we navigate the mundane, the setbacks, the pain, will determine what kind of story we write. A tragedy or a triumph. The experiences we have are not always within our control, but our responses are. Choose well and write a great story.

How we navigate our setbacks will determine the story we write. A tragedy or a triumph. Share on X

So what’s your story?

Comment below and tell us about a time when you overcame a set-back and achieved more than you expected?

If avoiding pain is what you prefer, then don't expect to grow Share on X

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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How is Your Relationship With Yourself

is your self esteem holding you back?

4 questions to help you determine if your self esteem is putting a lid on your personal and professional growth?

Most people realise your ability to relate to others positively and productively will directly impact your ability to grow personally and professionally. But, there is one relationship that many never give attention to, and it is the #1 relationship that can become the barrier to your personal and leadership success…

It is: your relationship with yourself…

John Maxwell puts it this way: The only continual relationship in your life is your relationship with yourself…

The only continual relationship in ur life is ur relationship with urself @JohnCMaxwell Share on X

How you view yourself (your self-esteem) will inform the way others view and treat you. Whether you value yourself or not will affect the level to which others value you. If you don’t believe that you deserve success and growth in your chosen field, then there is no reason to expect anyone else will.

How you view yourself will inform the way others view and treat you. Share on X

See, it works like this… Your self esteem will inform the thoughts you have about yourself, about your circumstances, about your setback and about the way other people treat you. Those thoughts will over time (if they haven’t already) become beliefs.

Your beliefs will in turn inform your attitude, your resilience and become the filter by which you experience life.

These beliefs will in turn affect your actions. The way you react to situations, the way you talk to others, the decisions you make and your willingness to take chances for your next steps in growth.

Do you see how that works? The way you love and accept yourself will influence how you think. The way you think will influence what you believe. What you believe will determine the kinds of actions you take. Your actions will determine your growth.

Your thoughts become beliefs, beliefs become actions, actions become outcomes. Share on X

So how do you know if you need to work on your relationship with yourself? Well the easy answer is; we all do. Everyone of us battles with self doubt, negative self talk and unresolved pain from the past. But to give you something practical, try asking yourself these question…

1. How’s Your Self Talk?

How do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake or fail? Are you able to talk yourself through disappointment or do you start beating yourself up and calling yourself an idiot?

Take action: Start catching yourself out when you run yourself down. Develop a habit of changing your self talk and begin working on new ways of talking to yourself when you make a mistake or fail. Encourage yourself and be kind to yourself when you screw up. We all do… An easy rule of thumb is; if you wouldn’t talk to someone you love like that, then don’t talk to yourself like that…

Encourage yourself and be kind to yourself when you screw up. We all mess up... Share on X

2. Where Does it Hurt?

Matt Keller  suggests that your leadership will be capped at the level of your willingness to deal with past pain and hurt… If your self-esteem and the way you think about yourself is linked to past unresolved hurt, disappointment or loss; start by addressing that.

your leadership will be capped at the lvl of your willingness to deal with past hurts @matthewkeller Share on X

Take action: I don’t know where you’re at or how deep those issues go, maybe you need professional help to address the hurt or perhaps you just need to get something off your chest. Just remember; burying or ignoring matters of the heart will not resolve the pain and it’s effect. It will only postpone it to a time when you have no choice but to deal with it.

3. How is your relationship with others?

If you find yourself in regular conflict with others or feel like the world is against you, it can frequently be an indicator that you are actually unhappy with yourself and are just projecting your self loathing onto the interactions you have with others.

Nit picking or fault finding with others can sometimes be an indication of something you are disappointed with in your own life. Rather than focusing on changing it within, we can often fall into the trap of trying to fix it in others and in the process ignore the disappointment we have with ourselves.

Take action: Next time you feel under fire from or agitated and frustrated with someone else, before reacting take a pause. Ask yourself if what they are doing is really the cause of your frustration and hurt or if there’s something else within that you are ignoring. Take the time to assess your own actions, thoughts and intentions. Be honest with yourself and ask if there is anything you can adjust to fix the situation. Conflict is rarely one sided and we always get fast and better results when we turn our attention to fixing our own attitudes and actions before trying to correct others.

Conflict is rarely one sided...resolution comes faster when we turn our attention to ourselves. Share on X

Do I deserve it? 

When you think about the success or goal that you’re trying to achieve, ask yourself this? Do I deserve it? Frequently we can be driven by a desire to achieve big, but underneath it we’re terrified of the thought that we might actually make it… then what?

If you don’t truly believe you deserve the success and the outcomes you are trying to achieve, don’t expect anyone else to help you get there. Sooner or later you will sabotage your own desires to achieve, because deep down you’re scared of what the accomplishment might do to you.

If you don't truly believe you deserve success, don't expect anyone else to... Share on X

Take Action: Make peace with your fears and back yourself. Start telling yourself that you do deserve it. When you start believing in yourself, others will naturally gravitate towards you and start believing in you. If you keep telling yourself that you are not worthy or you don’t deserve it, others will pick up on the energy that you live with. You won’t have to tell them, they might not even realise that they have sensed your self doubt, but they will, and your perception of yourself  will become their perception of you.

What to do? 

I’ve already made some suggestions in the previous paragraphs as to how you can start changing your relationship with yourself for the better, but for the sake of you who just scroll to the bottom for the bullet points here are a few more:

  • Measure your wins not your losses. “What gets measured gets done…” John Schnatter
  • Learn to talk yourself up (encourage yourself) don’t run yourself down. publicly or in your head.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others, run your own race.
  • Learn to live with gratitude not complaining
  • Back yourself for the win.

Your turn:

How’s your relationship with yourself? Has this blog been helpful? Share your ahha moment in the comments.

How's your relationship with yourself? #1 barrier to growth Share on X

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

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6 Steps to Discovering Your Purpose

6 steps to discovering your purpose

So, you know it’s important to know your purpose. But what if you don’t know what it is? How can you discover it?

In my previous post I suggested some reasons why knowing your purpose or “why” is so important to reaching your full potential both personally and professionally. But what if you don’t know what that purpose is? Or you’ve discovered that the purpose that was driving you, needs some reevaluation…what then?

John Maxwell suggested 6 questions that can help us assess and identify our why:

1.Do you love what you’re doing now? Seems kind of obvious but if you don’t like what you’re doing now, change it. Too many people keep themselves trapped in jobs and situations that they don’t like, all the while complaining about how much they hate their job, life, etc…  Too many people keep themselves trapped in jobs and situations that they don’t like

Complaining about your situation without changing it does nothing to help you find your purpose, it only makes everyone else around you miserable. Conversely, if you really love what you do, then it’s a good indication you are doing something aligned with your bigger purpose. I like to call this your passion. If you’re doing something you love and it doesn’t feel like a chore, lean into it.

Complaining about your situation without changing it does nothing to help you find your purpose”

2. What would you like to do? Do you have something that you’ve always dreamed of doing? Something that when you’re not preoccupied with the mundane of life it always invades your thoughts? When you’ve got spare time you look for ways to do it? This is called your desire. When your passion and desire intersect, that is where you find purpose… But before you rush out to pursue your desires the next question is important…

“When your passion and desire intersect, that is where you find purpose”

3. Can You do what you want to do? We’ve all seen those folks on TV singing competitions, who say singing is their life, they dream about nothing else but singing, but when they open their mouth everyone cringes because they just can’t sing!

Not all desires should be pursued. If it’s not a gift you possess or something in your strength zone, don’t try and do it. You’ll only frustrate yourself… Ask yourself what you are good at. If you’re not sure what your gift is, what do others say that you’re good at? What’s a task or activity that comes easy to you and brings you enjoyment?  That’s where you’ll start to get closer to your strength zone. “Not all desires should be pursued.”

4. Do you know people who do what you want to do? One of the keys to moving into the area of your desires is knowing others who have gone before you. People who can show you the way, can give you insights into the challenges and how to face them. If the answer is no, start by seeking out and building relationship with others who can do what you want to do.

Jim Rohn says: you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Are the people you spend your time with helping you move towards your desires or away from your desires? This is your environment. To discover and go after your purpose you have to create the environment around you that will be conducive to your growth.

Some others ways you can achieve this is by joining a mastermind group, getting a coach or joining a professional organisation related to your passion. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

5. Will you pay the price? As Maxwell says; To go up you must be prepared to give up… Every stage of your growth and development will require a price to be paid in sacrifice. Having a desire and a passion is a start, but it will only really be realised if you are prepared to pay the price required to achieve it. You will have a good indication of your purpose when you know what you’re prepared to sacrifice for.

“You will have a good indication of your purpose when you know what you’re prepared to sacrifice for ”

6. When can you start doing it? It’s one thing to have a passion and even have the drive to make it happen, but until your desire become action it will remain just that; desire. Purpose is tie closely to action, without action your purpose will remain unrealised. Have you started taking steps toward your purpose? If not, when will you start? The things you move towards today will become your legacy for tomorrow. What are you moving towards now? Do you need to change your focus?

Until your desire becomes action it will remain just that; desire #blogpost Discover your purpose”

Your turn: Do you know your why? Post it below. If not, get started today. take yourself through the above the questions and let me know what you discover. Go on, I’ll be here when you get back. Make your start today.

If you’d like help to walk through this process with somebody, contact me for a free coaching session. I’d love to walk you through it.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

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3 Tips For Operating With Integrity

The number 1 leadership characteristic for success: integrity.

Find out how integrity can lift or place a lid on your leadership growth… 

While leaders come in all shapes and sizes and every leader needs to work to their strengths, when developing their leadership capacity, it is character not skill that will keep you growing and moving forward. As John Maxwell says; “charisma will get you in the door but character will keep you in the room”.

charisma will get you in the door but character will keep you in the room @johncmaxwell Share on X

So what are some essential characteristics or qualities of a truly great leader? Every writer has their own list of essentials. Some long, some short, but the #1 characteristic that always comes up and will keep coming up in your growth journey is: Integrity…

Integrity: Why does it matter? 

This is a funny one… because although I think most leaders understand and believe that integrity is important, whenever I teach this, it very quickly becomes apparent in a group that your idea of “right” may be quite different to my idea of “right”.

The dictionary defines integrity as: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. C.S. Lewis puts it this way: Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.

In culture of fluid moral values, integrity is becoming a dangerously abstract concept. Share on X

On one hand it may appear that it’s just basic common sense, but in a culture that is so fluid in it perceptions of right and wrong, moral sense seems to be far less common than we thought. This can be an even bigger challenge a leaders who lack the ability to think critically and is reluctant to stand for any one set of moral values, lest they offend someone in the process.

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching. C.S.Lewis Share on X

So what to do…?

How do we define integrity in a culture that has such fluid moral values. Ultimately this has to come don to the individual. You have to do some hard work on assessing your own values and asking the questions if your values and actions actually convey integrity.

Leaders who lack the ability to think critically will struggle to stand for anything of value when it counts Share on X

2 Simple Questions

To simplify the concept I like to assess my integrity by asking myself 2 simple questions:

1. If someone posted my actions and words on Facebook post, would I have to start making excuses to justify my choice, or would it be a non-event? If you have to justify or explain your actions then chances are; you’re skirting the boundaries of integrity.

2. Another way of testing your integrity is to ask “do I need to do this on the quiet?” If you are intuitively doing things privately or secretly to avoid the scrutiny of others, then you’re probably treading on dangerous territory with your integrity.

See, integrity it is less about whether you think what you’re doing is wrong and whether others will perceive what you’re doing as wrong.

Integrity is less about what you do and more about the perception that you convey Share on X

If the perception of others is that you are doing something dodgy, then whether you are or not, it will begin to erode your leadership credibility.

An ancient Jewish teacher suggested that a wise leader will avoid even the appearance of evil.

a wise leader will avoid even the appearance of evil Share on X

So how’s your integrity? Do you need to do some work on how you operate in this space?

3 Tips for operating with integrity:

  1. Deal in Truth. Half-truths always end up tending towards lies and misunderstanding. Make it a habit to always speak honestly and truthfully.
  2. Operate with Transparency. If you have to hide it, it will only lead to dishonesty. Whatever you do, be transparent and accessible to others.
  3. Maintain Accountability. Put people around you that you trust who will call you on your stuff. Give them permission to speak into your life and to challenge your integrity if they have concerns. Then listen to them if they do.

You will only grow personally and professionally to the level that you can build and maintain credibility with others. Your character will win you credibility and keep you in the game long after the fly by nights have disappeared.

Your leadership will grow to the level that you can build and maintain credibility with others Share on X

What are your tips for assessing and maintaining credibility in your leadership?

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

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How My Taxi Driver Taught Me Gratitude

PRESS PLAY, WATCH THE VIDEO OR READ BELOW…

Ancient Greek Philosopher Epicurus said “Don’t spoil what you have by desiring what you don’t have. Because the things you have are the things once have hoped for.”

Gratitude is the essential part of doing life well. When we learn to be thankful for what we have it actually gets us focused on the things that matter in life, it gets us tapped into the source of good in our life.

I was in San Diego yesterday waiting for a car to pick me up for the airport. The car service never arrived and I was running late for the airport… I was frustrated so called a taxi. The  taxi driver turned up and he was happy and amiable, wanting to help and wanting to have a conversation…

So as I sat in the cab on the way to the airport, I started chatting with him… I asked him about his family and he told me that he was from Congo and his family was still stuck back in Africa and he was 10 years without his family. Although he had approval to bring them out to the States, he had not been able to do so because of the corruption and the war in his own country…

Ten years without your family!

You know I have a hard enough time being away from my family for 10 days and I can’t even imagine what that would be like… and all of a sudden the perspective of my own life kicked in. While I was frustrated and annoyed and wishing I had a better experience with my pick up for the airport, here was a man who had far more to complain about, yet he was happy, he was amiable, he is wanting to be positive about life…

It got me thinking about gratitude, how important it is to doing life well and tapping in to the source of good. When we are focused on good we make great choices and we can do more and be more in our lives…

Find something to be grateful for in your life today and thank somebody who makes your day a little easier, do that and you’ll find you enjoy the present far more and spend less time wishing the future would arrive to change everything you’re unhappy with…

I am Tarun Stevenson, reminding you that you can lead well no matter where you are in your life…

Give me reaction on this video even if you did not like it, give me a thumbs down or thumbs up or comment, share with the friend that you think he needs to hear this message.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

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5 Steps to Set Goals that Work

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Why We Should Form The Habit of Forgiveness

So I go out this morning to grab a coffee and a bite to eat before I head off to the airport and ordered my coffee and croissant, the coffee comes and it is the wrong coffee. It’s skinny milk instead of full cream milk and it is in a larger cup than I had ordered… and they charged me more for my coffee than I was meant to pay.

Then I get my croissant out and the croissant is cold and I had to go back three or four times with this order…The guys standing behind the counter are really feeling bad and are apologetic.

You know the consumer in me starts to think to myself that I should be really annoyed about this. I paid $10.50 for this croissant and the coffee, which isn’t very good and they did not get my order… but you know these guys feel bad enough as it is. I don’t need to make they day any worse by complaining or getting angry or losing my stuff over a bit of coffee, because really what’s that going to do? It’s going to change my day? It’s certainly not going make their day better…

And it got my thinking…

You know forgiveness, forgiveness is such an important part of doing life well. We can forgive, when we can let go of anger and let go of grudges, let go of bitterness, it helps us to be better. It helps us to do more, helps us to achieve more in our lives… and it’s really not about whether the other person has done the right thing or not. Forgiveness is really about allowing yourself to move on, allowing yourself to still enjoy your existence regardless of what happens to you.

Now I know coffee is a small thing it’s not like some big things that are often very hard to deal within and very hard to process. But the reason I think it is important to practice forgiveness in this small things is because; your small daily habits have a big impact when big events happen. If you are in the habit of forgiving when it is a little thing like a coffee you going to be more likely to default to forgiveness when something really big happens in your life.

But if we form habits of always being complaining, always being angry, always being unsatisfied with what is going on in our lives… or angry with what people have done to us. When the big stuff, the stuff that really matters, actually happens to us… it makes much harder to default to those positive responses.

Now will I go back there again? Probably not. It’s probably not good customer service, but that’s a video for another day, but I just really thought the attitude in the way we respond to little things in our life, make a huge difference for the big stuff in our life.

I am Tarun reminding you that you can lead well no matter where you find yourself.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

https://leadcommunicategrow.com/free-goal-setting-guide/

5 Steps to Set Goals that Work