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Tarun: So what are the beginning stages of building trust ? What are some of the practical things that we can do as leaders to engender a relationship of trust with our people ?

John Lynch: This might be the most helpful and practical step that I was ever able to take with a staff of 15, affirmation. Affirmation is the currency of love. In the book of Proverbs it says “Do not let your own lips have to brag on you, let someone else do it.” So affirmation says, “I am going to tell you some things about you that I see and that are such a great value to us here in this business by the way you do them.” I think we have a fear of what affirmation will do; that it will puff the other person up but affirmation never puffs us up, it just humbles us. It makes us want to do more of what we are being affirmed for in the place that is affirming us. 

On people’s birthdays what we would do is; we would form a circle. We had a little sheet with a hundred different adjectives on it like, industrious, compassionate,thoughtful, etc. They are not just statements of strength but statements of character. Then we would pick five adjectives and we would sit across from the person we wanted to appreciate, look into their eyes and say, “Elaine, I saw you last week do something comlassionate for someone. There was a person over there left alone and no one really wanted to be with them. I watched you go over and intentionally make yourself available to them and I watched you do that two dozen different times.”

When affirmation is believed, it transforms people. In fact kids who grow up without affirmation grow up not knowing who they are. So that activity is something that can be done individually but it is best served with a team around that is watching because then that team gets to discover and realise, “Oh this is how we are going to do life together.” You are actually creating an environment of grace within a working environment. It is so powerful.

Tarun: Thanks so much for tuning in, I hope you got a ton of value out of that episode. Don’t forget to let us know what you thought in the comments and if you have a topic you’d like us to cover next time we would love to hear from you.

If you would like to learn more about effectively growing in your leadership, why not check out our FREE Goal setting guide. See below for details.

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5 Steps to Set Goals that Work